The Concept |r. blaney|

eight: exposed & vulnerable

Had she previously known then what she learned now, maybe she would have chosen differently. Maybe she wouldn't let her lonesome thoughts control her reality. Maybe she'd listen to her heart and head rather than what other people told her what would be good for her.

Because now, it was written in stone. There was no going back. She'd accidentally thrown herself off into the deep end--

And it had all began when she invited Julia over to watch the race the Sunday following she and Ryan's last in-person encounter.

Julia had set her bowl of popcorn in Cadence's lap, her mouth already full as she took a seat. With a full mouth, she mumbled an incoherent sentence as she covered her legs. Cadence didn't bother to try and decode it as she ate a handful of popcorn. "Mmm, I--" Jules swallowed the popcorn, lifting a finger and chasing the salty snack with homemade lemonade. "Okay, I asked if Ryan was interviewed."

"No."

"How would you know, your nose is in your phone and the TV's on mute." Julia muttered, throwing a piece of popcorn in the air and attempting to catch it-- only for it to bounce off her chin and onto the floor. She glanced at her friend, awaiting a scolding-- only to find Cadence's electric blue eyes locked on her phone as her thumbs darted across her screen. Julia glanced at the live broadcast of NASCAR and then to her friend. "Hello?"

"What?"

"You probably missed him." She motioned to the TV. "It's on mute."

"No, I didn't. He's texting me. He's on his way to the cars..." She trailed off, closing out of the texting app and to his Instagram. She refreshed his feed, smiling triumphantly as she liked his post just as it was posted. She locked her phone, leaving it at that and looking back to the TV. "Jeez, turn it up, you prude."

"You're joking- right, KK?" Julia scoffed before waving her off. She turned the TV up, the girls both looking to the screen casually. Then Cadence's phone buzzed and her attention was captured once again. Julia, however, kept her eyes on the screen-- only to begin squealing and nudging her friend. "KK! You're on TV!"

"Huh?" She looked up with her brow furrowed, shooting up in a sitting position as she and Ryan were displayed on the TV screen. Her eyes widened as the scene cut to them hugging-- for far longer than she would have like to be displayed on television for thousands of people to see. "Cute, you guys will have your own MTV show before the end of this race."

Unfortunately for Cadence and her distaste for being on TV, that wasn't where it ended. In fact-- it was just the beginning.

Screenshots from the broadcast were plastered on every social media form for fans to grab and give their unwanted opinions on. Although none were particularly hateful, the embarrassment raged on as she scrolled. She realized there was no end and she and Ryan's friendship would surely be taken out of context and judged by fangirls from all over.

It was toxic; the internet, that is.

It left her feeling... violated, in a way. She and Ryan had a good friendship going, and it wasn't anybody's business how it happened, when, or where. Why, even. She wanted it to be just her and Ryan, alone in their little, unknown world. As naive as it was, that's what she wanted.

She'd soon learned that any form of a relationship she pursued with Ryan wouldn't ever be like that. He was in the public eye, a professional athlete. He wasn't some silly, goofy drunken man making her feel alive again.

When this was brought to Ryan's attention one rainy night days after the initial broadcast, he had simply stayed silent with his eyes downcast a million miles away-- or so it seemed. Cadence was sitting on her couch, her TV muted and being used for minimal light alongside her string lights going around the perimeter of the ceiling. Ryan, on the other hand, was lying in his unmade bed, clutching a pillow to his bare chest as he gazed down, trying to form a response to her now vocalized worries.

"It's not so bad," He spoke after a moment. She sighed softly, eyes wandering away from her phone and to her TV with a pout-- which was a habit she picked up on in her childhood whenever she was upset. She didn't do it on purpose-- not always, at least, but it certainly projected this sad, innocent persona that just screamed comfort me. Unfortunately for her, she didn't care for that part of herself. Most, however, much like Ryan, ate it up. "You're making me feel bad, don't look all depressed."

She cracked a smile, eyes moving back to the screen. His bright eyes were reflecting his screen, his lips spread into a kind smile. Her eyes moved down from his face to his bare shoulders and the pillow obstructing her view from his tattoo on his chest that she'd noticed the first time he'd FaceTimed her shirtless.

"It just makes me nervous," She told him, pursing her lips for a moment.

"Yeah, that's... different," He chuckled, causing her brows to draw together. "Usually, people pop up, learn I'm pretty much as famous as Brad Pitt, and want some spotlight too."

"If Brad Pitt tried being my friend I'd run away and cry because I wouldn't know what to say... and you're not quite Brad PItt." He shrugged a shoulder with a chuckle, lying his head down on his arm as he gazed down at his phone-- at her.

"I'm glad you're not like that." He told her honestly, the brunette rolling her eyes. While the act suggested annoyance or playful acceptance, she had an idea of what it's like to attract people merely out of unfair things: with Ryan, it was mostly fame. With her, it was mostly finances. While she had a decent living going for herself, she wasn't famous. The opposite, actually, with her only friends really being Julia and by default, Quincy. "Okay, enough of that. Tell me about you, anything."

"Ew, no." She drew out her words childishly, sliding down into a lying position on the couch with a blanket tucked up beneath her nose.

"What? C'mon, anything. Middle name, favorite color, any pets? Zodiac? Anything." He pressed with a sleepy, goofy smile.

She inhaled slowly, her lips twitching into a smile as she organized her answer. "Middle name is Alana, favorite color is red, no pets, unfortunately. I'm a Pisces." She listed off as Ryan nodded and shut his eyes, obviously tired but eager to keep talking. She only smiled wider at this.

"Cute. Alana. Your last name is LeRoy--" He hummed before sighing softly with a playful smile. "So, I'm calling you Lanalee now. I'm a Capricorn, so basically we're soulmates." She raised a brow at his knowledge of astrology and the name he addressed her by. She began to chuckle. He peeked one eye open before rolling onto his back with a sleepy smile. "It was on Instagram, someone stalked your page and found out your birthday. I knew you were a Pisces or whatever."

"Of course." She giggled and bit down on her bottom lip, although he couldn't see.

"Yeah, so, maybe you being famous with me won't be such a bad thing if we're soulmates." He shrugged and she rolled her eyes, shutting them briefly. "Friendly soulmates, of course. And as the spectacular friend I am," Her eyes flashed open, amusement already set in. "You're tired and should get some beauty sleep... and I'm tired and need mine too, obviously."

"Oh, well, duh." She chuckled softly. "Goodnight, Ryan."

"Goodnight, Lana Lee."

A/N
Hello, I love you, I thank you, and good day.
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