Too Little To Late

ohkayee so first off I spell certain words diffrently because I can do that :) no but seriously I like to put a diffrent spin on mihh words if you know what I mean.

Now on to the story info. This is a true life experience so if it sucks then apparently my life sucks which it does because of how I feel buuut I hope u like it.

Oh and its more like a short story soo yea ohkayee on to it then...

TOO LITTLE TOO LATE:

The first time i saw you was a quick 5 sec glance.Medium height afro naturally curly. I could tell you were a halfbreed aka mixed, My first thought was he is cute

A few weeks later close to in the the middle of summer vacation I saw you again, this time your hair was braided. I was kinda scared to talk to you because I didn't want you to be like why tf is this girl talking to me so I stood on the side of you and we talked to the same person just not each other.

When it got close to my curfew I was walking my friend home and you did the dumbest thing ever but it was funny so I laughed. We got to her house and I stayed a little while we talked and when I decided to go home you offered to give me a ride on your bike. I laughed nd said no I'm good but you were being persistant I just kept laughing and saying no but when I was walking back you followed and we talked about meaningless stuff then u said u would come back for a soda I smiled nd said ohkayee I thought you were kidding but you did come back. When you left I smiled to myself for some reason.

You came back almost eveyday after that and we chilled abit with friends and stuff but it was annoying when everyone kept saying what we did behind bushes and stuff I was like where tf are these ideas coming from?. But anyway I loved spending time with you. You made me laugh and smile a ton I couldn't believe I didn't relize then.

I loved when you use to call me your boo thang and baby lol. I also loved that day we were pushing each other in the basket nd those kids started playing with it nd u went got it and was like "I got our car back baby" those were the fun care free days.

I found myself waiting on you looking foward to you coming back but you worked so some days you came late. I let you keep my stuff for the day just so you could come back the next. Soon you started asking me out which I stupidly turned down your many offers because I was scared of what others would say. We kinda made a game out of it. Ill never forget you saying " josh Williams and jade walker sounds so good together" lol nd me saying we can't be together becausee " I'm jade and you're josh" you wanted to know what that meant but I never told you because it was just an excuse.

My brother was like she dnt like you nd you were like your in a very small box right now wat if she did like me..." I thought to myself only you josh :). You eventually gave up but you stilll came around some times and we hung out which was cool bcuz I kept getting grounded so i could never hang out like I wanted to.

School started back and you stopped coming around :(. You got a new girl nd I didn't want to admit it but I was so jealous I played it cool though. Y'all broke up I was kinda happy then you got a new one nd so on. We stopped talking that much and now we don't really talk.

I relized that I like you a lot but I relized to late because you have moved on and I can only blame myself because I pushed you away. I tried to deny my feelings but the more I denied them the stronger they got.

My friends keep talking to you about me but you make it into a joke and tease me I don't think you know that I really feel that way and how could I blame you? I am the one that said we will never date.

We talk sometimes and joke around and your always taking my stuff :/ nd I ride in the elevator with you :) because you messed up your leg in football :(

I get sad when I see you on fb with all these other girls and when I here a song that explains my situation I get depressed but I have to get over my feeling and I'm trying.

I am trying to stop thinking of you constantly but its really hard. That song key to my heart by Jessica jarrell really explains how I feel nd like she said "Am I getting lost in my dreams, are you unreachable to me..." I'm just gonna try and walk away because the truth is...

I would rather you in my life as my friend then not in my life at all.

and so I trully don't regret us meeting at all. You brought me feelings I've never expirienced before from the joy, just seeing you and my day being good or not seeing you nd it being horrible, to the pain and heartache. I am so lucky to have met you this summer, it was the best sunmer I've ever had because you came into my life.

So ill try to forget about my feelings for you which means I have to forget you. Don't feel hurt if I'm ignoring you, Don't think you did anything wrong bcuz you didn't. I did because like you said I waited to late nd it didn't really surprise me when you said it bcuz i know its the truth.

Thank you for teaching me what its like to really really really enjoy life and just have fun nd also for teaching me you cant play with people's heart nd still expect them to wait forever sooo this is it Young Breezy (my nick name for him) You say you love me nd I never say it back but I love you nd I will always remember that lucky summer :)