What about Us?

The light was shining through the blinds of the window onto the comforter of the bed, in the room that seemed to be lifeless. The warm ray of light from the summer sun causing something to begin to stir deep under to comforter in the room. It was six pm, the sun was still shining as people enjoyed their summer afternoon by the poolside, the sound of laughter and splashing of the water could be heard in the background. Deep under the blankets in the lifeless room, ten toes could be seen poking out of the bottom of the blanket, then ten fingers as a gasp came from under the blanket. The girl who had been in a deep hibernation from the night before was waking up to start her day. Many people did not understand people like her...those who woke up as the sun went down living in the darkness yet being so full of joy. Much to her dismay, she had to get up for training tonight at the fire department. Braving the warm rays of light breaking through the blinds she removed her mask to reveal two brown eyes squinting from the bright new environment surrounding her. With one more little stretch, she sat up hanging her feet off the bed, wiping the drool from her face and trying to straighten her hair down which was sticking up every which way. 

Two feet met the fuzzy blue carpet. One step at a time she stood up, her bones popping as if to protest her getting up out of bed, moving through the protest she starts her day. Starting with the walk of faith as she put it, where she made her way to the bathroom down the hall. A walk lead purely by memory as she took one step at a time with caution trying to miss all the dog toys, clothing, boxes and doors as she made her way to the bathroom with her eyes closed still not ready to face the day, well night, ahead of her. Making it to the bathroom only stubbing her toe once on a box where her sister had just moved back into the house and had yet to unpack, a risk she knew she was taking to keep her eyes closed just one more minute. She turned on the lights of the bathroom, opening her eyes and giggling at her complexion in the mirror a girl in a baggy t-shirt hanging off her shoulders, her hair still standing straight up, and mascara smeared under her eyes, a girl so raw and so beautiful because through all her flaw that was the real her looking back in the mirror. She turned on the shower making sure the water was warm enough to wake her up, turning on her phone to find the right playlist before her shower, sending a text to Josh to let him know she had woke up. She had training later that night, just training she had to remind herself as she began to zone out as if she was instantly put into a daydream just thinking about him she knew that it was going to be just her and Josh tonight training at the airport. A buzz came from her phone pulling her out of her train of thought, someone had texted her pulling her out of her daydreaming it was Josh who was texting her back good morning and letting her know he was going to push training back 30 minutes due to some things he had to catch up on. Rolling her eyes at the text she texted him back and told him she'd see him later. Her heart began to beat faster just at the thought of seeing Josh later, she wanted to hate the man and not go knowing she'd only fall more in love if she saw the man tonight she knew love just leads to heartaches later. She flipped through her phone finding the music she wanted to listen to, the soundtrack to the new Spider-Man movie, her current guilty pleasure, she slipped into the shower letting the warm water consume her and her thought washing away the negativity down the drain she slipped back into her daydreams. 

The thoughts of a man she was addicted to like a drug never being able to get enough of him and struggling with the cravings when he was not there with her, Josh Josh Josh Josh. Who was Josh people may ask. Josh was a man you could not describe in words but the closest thing to reach his beauty was like turning on the radio after a bad day just to find out they are playing your favorite song that you can't get out of your head which warms your soul deep down and brightens your whole day. He was a man who made you feel like you were in a cheesy hallmark Christmas movie, where there is singing, dancing, and a happy ending every time. Josh was as if God listened to everything you asked for in a man then copied and pasted him into existence. Josh was the kind of person you wanted all to yourself and wanted to tell the whole world you found and planned to keep like a lost puppy. Josh was the smartest and most talented man you could find, the person he was made you want to push to be a better person and pursue your dreams. Josh made a girl wish she could speak Spanish, Josh was a man who in a uniform could stop your heart and then be able to help start it again. Josh may live in a world in the clouds being a foot taller than her but she would do anything to protect this man from the cruel world they lived in. But most importantly Josh was a human who made you feel safe, someone who answers the phone in the middle of the night just to help you because you missed his voice and would hold you while you cried. Josh was the man who made her say I love you after a month, the man who made her drop all plans to see him every minute she could. Josh was a man she hated to love because no matter how in love she was he would never pick her, Josh's love belonged to someone else. But Josh was the man she loved deeply, in a forbidden love that grew deep in her heart causing it to overflow and spilling out of her lips every time she spoke his name.