The Thoughts Between Us // CHALEX

Eight

Alex

I tried to convince Zach that this was the worst time to ditch the college tour, but he has already planned everything. On contrary, he tried to convince me to ditch the trip with him. But I knew how fucked up we actually were.

The graffiti had made it clear that someone was out there being suspicious about everything.

Jessica was suspecting Zach, but I told her that even if how Zach was behaving right now he would never do something like that. Moreover, he was actually surprised and kind of proud of whoever did the graffiti on the administration office doors. So I don't exactly see him doing this.

Not to forget, Zach being the good friend he was, there was no mention of that kiss on the roof last week. Our behavior was normal, no trace of any awkward moments between us which I was thankful for. He picks me up in the morning sometimes and drops me home everyday. Just like before the kiss happened.

The other thing that has been on my mind since then was, what was I?

I never saw myself as gay. I have had sex with Jessica who is my ex, then with a prostitute where Bryce had took me. I have masturbated watching the girl in every porn, so I have never ever doubted my sexuality. But after the kiss with Zach, I'm having some thoughts.

Last week I watched the man in every porn, and I actually liked it. Then I watched gay porn too, which kind of turned me on. So now I was guessing that I could be bisexual.

Another thing I gathered was I don't have any feelings towards Zach. I don't really understand why I kissed him on the roof then, but now I just see him as my best friend. Which is good because I didn't wanted to loose him over some dumb feelings.

I realise that I have time to think over all this in the future, because right now my main priority is to focus on the Sanderson college tour.

The buses dropped us off at the main entrance of the campus, from where it was visible how big the campus actually was on contrary to Principal Bolan saying it's a small university. It was close to home though, as it just took about 20 minutes to reach here.

We started walking inside, looking around and admiring the greenery. People were chatting excitedly, but my eyes were looking at Zach who managed to get through the crowd to the other side. Tony and Jessica were talking near him, and I also saw Mr. Jensen greeting Clay, Ani and Justin in the front. Tyler was behind me chatting with Winston Williams, who I later realised was the new kid from Hillcrest.

I was thinking about how everything is normal for now, when we were told to get divided in two groups. I stayed in the right group with Tyler, while everyone else went in the other. But suddenly Clay broke away from his group and started walking beside me.

"Hey, Alex, you okay?"

Trust him to ask me that after such a happening morning.

"Can we make a rule that we stop asking each other that?" I looked at him, but his attention wasn't even on me.

"Um, I'm gonna walk with you," He said, patting my shoulder once. "I just gotta..."

He pointed to somewhere and was about to jog away, when the teacher in-charge saw him with our group.

"Clay Jensen, back to your group, please."

Clay squeezed his eyes shut, as he realized whatever he planned wasn't going to work.

"Fuck, shit, okay." He turned to me now. "Can you keep an eye on Tyler?"

What?

"Wait, what? Did something happen?"