•hiatus• Looking at These Walls [Kygan Blake]

four

›kyle

he never once took me to church. he never did, and I knew he wouldn't. “if you took me there, I'd burn, baby.”, he'd say while we would caress each others skin.

I shouldn't have said anything that day. but of course, my loud ass mouth had to say one of the worst things I could've ever said, and it set him off. the day before our fight, I had told him, while he was topping again, that I was taking him to church with me the next day.

he didn't like that idea...

"gays go to hell."
"gays are an abomination!"
"homosexuals don't deserve life! they deserve death!"

Keagan didn't like to hear that kind of talk; I obviously didn't either. but my preacher would say something along those lines each Sunday.

that's one of the only reasons I know why Keags wouldn't go to church with me. ergo, he refused to go.

I didn't like that, being raised in a church goers household was hard! then, it became so much more challenging for me, when I figured out I was in fact gay. in my teen years, I would always go, but when Father Gabriel would talk down and bad about gays, I started to cry silently into my Sunday vest.

"why are you crying, son? stop it.", my father would scold quietly during the sermen.

I just hated hearing him bashing us! I wouldn't stop, I'd crawl out of the pews and sob in the bathroom for the next hour, until mum beat on the men's bathrooms doors, signaling me to stop and get out.

{unedited; will be continued soon xx}