One in the Same

Epilogue

   Clodagh walked out on tho the balcony and looked out over the scenery laid out before her. A strange wind was coming off the tide tonight. She knew the old wives tales. Winds like that meant that something was coming. Something unexpected. Let it come. nothing could be worse than the news I have already been given. She thought to herself.
   There was a soft knock on the chamber door behind her. Clodagh inhaled through her nose as one of her hand maiden's opened the door.
   "Sebastian to see you, do ghrásta." The girl said walking up.
   Clodagh didn't even look at the poor thing as she raised her hand in dismissal. She heard him move forward. His boots clicking on the floor.
   "You look radi-"
   "What news?" She said without letting him finish.
   Sebastian sighed and lowered his head. "Nothing. No word if she survived."
   Clodagh gave a sick and twisted smile. There was no happiness in her face at all most days since the news. She blamed herself for Cat's death. If she was dead. If she hadn't sent her to England. If she would have handled things sooner, her daughter her only daughter would be home. Her daughter would be alive, if she was in fact dead. Everything would be sweet and beautiful. Not dark and sour. "Nothing," Clodagh repeated the word as if it left a bad taste in her mouth. "You're suppose to be Master of Secrets and Whispers, are you not?"
   "I am, do ghrásta." Sebastian replied hanging his head.
   "Do you or do you not find out truths in lies and lost things?"
   "I do-"
   "Then find my daughter." She growled as she spun on him. "You helped me get her out. Help me get her home."
   Sebastian sighed again. "No other than you and your husband want her back as badly as I do. But it's been nearly two years, do ghrásta. There has been no word. From anyone. The only talk is...well..."
   "Ships disappear and wreck all the time. I've heard what they say. Look me in the eye and tell me you honestly believe, Sebastian." Tears were starting to fill her eyes.
   Slowly Sebastian raised his head, then his eyes and looked into hers. "Do ghrásta, an banphrionsa..." tears were filling his own eyes and he was having trouble continuing on.
   Clodagh had held on to the hope that her Cat Beag would be returned to her. She held to it because her Master of Secrets had the same hope when he brought her the news the ship she was on hadn't come into port. It was possible it was just lost at sea. It's possible it was just off schedule. The winds hadn't been fair, there was a storm that had blown them off course and they were racing to get back as fast as they could. All of the lies they told each other to keep each other going day to day. But the more time went on, the more Sebastian was starting to believe the worst possible outcome. The one Clodagh refused to believe. Her brain may have said it. But she knew her girl was still alive out there. She felt it in her bones. But seeing the look on Sebastian's face now. Seeing the truth in his face. He had lost his hope. And if I let him, he'll steal mine, too. She thought to herself. But it was too late. Her body was betraying her. She felt her head shaking, her hands going to her mouth, her knees slowly giving out beneath her. And just like that, it's gone. She is gone.
   Sebastian moved forward and caught her before she full hit the ground. He held her close and for just a moment she sobbed into his chest. Then she gently pushed him away. "Leave me, Sebastian."
   "Do ghrásta, I don't-"
   "I said leave me now get the fuck out!" She screamed at him.
   Sebastian bowed and turned, closing the door softly behind him.
   "All of you get the fuck out!" She yelled throwing a wine goblet at the two girls sitting at her table. They ran out as Clodagh dropped to the floor sobbing.
   The gust of wind blew into her room, and made the lose strands of her hair dance. She sniffed and looked up and her eyes widened. On the railing of the balcony was a blue and silver translucent flame. As she looked at it it formed into a small woman, probably the size of Clodagh's hand. Slowly, using her table, she pulled herself back up and walked towards the fiery woman as she danced and skipped over the stone of the railing. As she spun, lifting her hands high above her head, she vanished. Clodagh gasped and laid her hand over the spot. The stone was warm. "A whisp," she whispered under her breath then closed her eyes and smiled softly. The wind blew again and Clodagh looked up to answer. On the horizon. Just past the harbor, were the sails of a ship.