A/N: Hey! No Post on Sundays is a novella I've had sitting around for about a year now, and though it's in desperate need of some revision, I love the characters too much to just let them go. So as I revise and rewrite, I'll post it here. I'm also reordering it majorly (combining two parts) and crit is very much appreciated, so let me know what you think!
WARNINGS: potential triggers include self-harm, suicide, depression, abuse, and homophobic slurs. Does have queerness and queer romance as central themes, but it's not explicit or completely centered around the romance. (Also, such queerness is written by an actual queer person, so it's hopefully more realistic than some things on wattpad.)
Sunday, October 6th
Dear Mati,
It's hard to say goodbye, isn't it? We spend our whole lives trying so hard not to part with others that when the inevitable happens, it's a flood no one can really hold up against soundly. So much emotion can engulf someone- too many feelings for one person to stably handle. When we are pulled apart by fate, all we can really do is wish things had turned out differently.
But I think the worst sort of goodbyes are the ones where one person chooses to go, thinking it's for the best, but the other one has no say- only pain. This type of parting results in not only guilt and grief, but anger. One side becomes vexed with themselves for leaving, and those they leave behind have nothing but fury at themselves for not being worth enough to force the leaver to stay. Both are left trying to process why it happened and decide if separating really was the right thing, and if it really is too late to change it.
This makes me think of that time that I got lost on the park playground when I was seven. Well, I didn't actually get lost. I knew exactly what the hell I was doing. You lost me. I still don't know what was so bad about deciding to go play hide and seek in those trees, but whatever. It doesn’t matter.
Anyway, when you found me, you, Mati, in all your nine-year-old disciplinary might, chastised the crap out of me. You swore you would never ever let me out of your sight again and what on earth was I thinking, I could have died and, worse, Mom would have killed you. I just sat there, listening to you yell at me until you saw the tears brimming in my eyes. Then you stopped, calmed me down, and led me home, with my hand in yours. One of the most sympathetic and compassionate older brothers ever, even at nine- that's the Mati I know and love. Why can't you be that way here and now?
Look, I'm not angry or anything, I swear. Really. I just miss you. Why did you have to leave, Mati? All I want is an answer. Is that too much to ask for?
Love always,
Audra
YOU ARE READING
No Post On Sundays
Teen FictionGoodbyes have never been among the easiest of things. At least not for Audra, anyway, who finds herself isolated and disenchanted with the world in the unexpected absence of her older brother. Between surviving her parents, reconciling with her frie...
