May I stop pretending I like you

4 Letters

(Okay, just a little a/n before we start. My bff wrote the song about a girl on our friend group and I fell completely in love with it, so I asked her if I could write an oneshot about it and she said yes, so here we go.)

This story contains strong language and I think I can call it angst, but nothing too harsh. 

It all started long before they announced that they were officially dating, a week before the holidays. All the students at Hogwarts knew that Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon had been together since the second week of school. The little touches they exchanged every chance they got, the laughs over breakfast, lunch and dinner and cute comments about literally everything made it quite obvious.

I just watched from the sit I was on as he climbed into a chair and proudly said that he had just asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes. I smiled and walked over to them, congratulating them quickly and giving him a hug, happy with the joy clearly visible on his face. I pulled away when James approached, shouting about how pissed he was that Sirius hadn't said anything before, just like a brother would. Because, deep down, everyone knew that James and Sirius were brothers, even if they didn't have the same blood. Smiling to myself, I picked up my book and went up to the dorm, feeling the proximity of the Full Moon starting to affect me. I changed my clothes and didn't even see the boys go to their beds, already fast asleep.

There was not a worry in the world. Everything went as always; classes, pranks on Slytherins, full moons and all. Well, until about a month later. I went home for the Holidays, just as Sirius and James, who went to the Potters, as every year. It was all normal. We sent each other owls every couple days with the news and some gifts, so it was very surprising to see Marlene sitting on my spot on the train on the ride back to the castle, on January. Lily and James were hugging, as usual; Peter was sitting next to them, eating some candies. In front of him was Sirius, next to the window, arms thrown around his girlfriend, who was having an excited chat with Lily about something I didn't bother listening to. When he saw me, James made a sad face and subtly poked Sirius, catching his attention. He looked at me frozen at the door, unsure of what to do next.

"Moons!" He gave a bright smile that I responded with a small curve of my lips. "Mar asked if she could sit with us today and I said it was okay. Do you mind?" He asked, with a little pout on his lips. I just sighed and nodded my head, already turning around.

"Yeah, sure. I'll just find another cabin, don't worry 'bout it." The last thing I heard before the door was fully closed was a low 'You're the best, mate' from Sirius.

I sat on a compartment with a couple Ravenclaws who were too busy reading to talk, so I just rested my head on the window and waited for the arrival on Hogwarts.

When I entered the Great Hall for the feast, though, it wasn't exactly surprising to see Marlene sitting next to her boyfriend, the place where I sat since the first year. It felt like ages, not just six years. I didn't even expect explanations from any of them this time, just lowering my head and walking until I sat next to Alice and Frank, who were talking animatedly with Mary about the classes we were going to have that year. What hurt most, however, was that none of my best friends at least tried to tell me anything. They didn't even look at me, just talked to their new best friend.

It went on like that for a long time, and, at some point, I didn't even talk to James, Sirius and Peter, even though we slept in the same room. I usually woke up early and came back late just not to see them, because it was too much torture. While our friendship only weakened, Sirius and Marlene's relationship grew stronger and stronger. He even got to know her parents during a visit to Hogsmeade, even though she didn't get the slightest glimpse of the Blacks, unsurprisingly. The relationship between Sirius and his parents was still not good. If anything, it had gotten worse since he started vacationing at James' house.