Say It....

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KIMS P.O.V.:

   "I'm coming in!" I heard my big brother say from outside my bedroom door. "Ok" I said loud enough for him to hear. He care in closing the door quietly behind himself before walking over and sitting on my bed shaking his head at me.  "We could all be sitting in jail because of You" he said sounding like he was defeated.

"I know look Ry I'm sorry I just lost it ya know I Swear it'll never happen Again" I said watching as he shook his head at me.  "Until Xavier goes off the deep end Again" he said making me frown.  I hated disappointing him it killed Me.

  "I love you Kim, but what you risked today, I won't let that happen again, you know its family over anything but, Eve she has a bad past and you knew that, you let that asswipe touch her, she's your bestfriend" he said staring at me with his hard intense gaze that he used when he was in the ring.

   "What are you saying " I whispered scared of the answer he was about to give me. "I'm saying that if this gets even a smidge close to happening again, you'll be finding your own place to live" he whispered back staring at me still with his hard cold gaze.

  I sighed running my hand through my hair, nodding my head knowing that he was being dead serious about what he had said. He kissed my forehead before whispering to me he loved me, sleep well. And then he got up and left the room

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   I sighed jumping in the shower, scrubbing my skin until it was raw. I felt disgusting, I knew I had overstepped the boundaries. But I was heartbroken I was lost. Xavier had always been my rock, he was everything. It was like I didn't know how to function without him.

   I most of sat in the shower for at least and hour and I didn't plan on stepping out of it without relieving myself of all the self hate, pain and I didn't. Call me stupid, call me a whore, call me the worst best friend there is, the worst little sister, I knew that.

   I pulled on A oversized T-shirt and some girly boxers. I climbed into my bed and sighed heavily tracing my finger along a new open wound on my hip. It wasn't worth it, I knew that but I didn't care.

   I had gotten myself hurt today, I had gotten my best friend hurt today, I had gotten my big brother hurt today, and I had gotten the love of my life hurt today. I was probably the worst person that had ever walked the earth.

  After about two hours laying in my bed I gave up, there was no way that I was gonna fall asleep like this.

********************

   I silently padded down the hall to the room I had watched Xavier disappear into earlier today. I was scared to knock on the door, I was scared to open the door. I was scared of his rejection.

   I sighed pulling my shirt down to make sure that my hips were covered. Xavier always got super emotionally when it came to my cutting. I had been cut free in a long time, and this was just a bump in the road.

   I softly knocked on the door hearing him yell come in. I took a deep breath, before opening the door and walking inside.

  I quietly padded over to where he was sitting on the edge of his bed. I stood in front of him for a few seconds before I felt him place his big strong hands on my hips. I bit my lip but looked down at him with my big brown eyes waiting on something.

   He sighed heavily laying the top of his head on my stomach. "I'm sorry" he whispered almost to quietly for me to hear.

  I sighed Moving his hands up my body so that I could sit on his lap. I grabbed his face gently in my hands shaking my head at him.

"I'm sorry too" I whispered back And He nodded looking at me with his sparkling green eyes. I sighed when I felt his hands slip underneath of my shirt. "I've missed you so much" he whispered and all I could was nod. Afraid to answer because all I wanted was to make up for all the lost time.

  As his hands slid down near my hips, I wiggled around on his lap not wanting him to feel what I had done. His eyebrows scrunched up and then his eyes widened in realization.

  He sighed heavily shaking his head. He stood up making me wrap my legs around his waist so that he could turn us around and he laid me down on his bed, climbing on top of me to hover above me.

   "I love you Kim...." He whispered kissing my nose. "I love you too Xav" I said. He smiled a little before lifting my shirt up enough to see what I was trying to hide.

  He sighed hooking his fingers into the waistband of my shorts pulling them Down just below my hipbones. Then he lowered himsf to kiss the cut repeaditly.

   He came back up to softly kiss my lips which I of course returned. He moaned softly sighing into the kiss. He grabbed handfuls of my shirt and pulled it up.

  Not being with Xav in so long god all I wanted, all I craved was him and him alone. He smiled, gently resting his forehead against my own.  "Ive missed you so much,  I'm,  so sorry for all of what I've Caused" he whispered staring at me intensely. 

  "shhhh...  I made my own decisions back there,  what were you doing there Though" I asked and he sighed recalling the memories of the bar.  "Your brother came and got me from Stevens and then made me get cleaned up that's why he made Eve follow you to the bar,  so he wanted me to see what I had caused to happen." he said shaking his head. 

  He sighed laying down making me sigh along with him.  "Kim...? " he whispered making me roll over and rest my head on his chest kissing it softly.  "Yeah? " I asked looking up at him. "Did.... Did you sleep with that Guy? " he asked sounding angry. 

  I frowned rolling away from him so I didn't see the hurt in his eyes when I didn't answer.  "Ba-baby? " he whispered hurt clear in his cracked voice.  "Xav....I'm Sorry" I whispered as tears filled my eyes.  He got up slamming his fist into the wall as hard as he could.

  

   "Xav.... Please Stop" I begged getting up and standing behind him.  The next thing that happened so fast my mind couldn't even process it.

    Xavier had my back pressed up against the bedroom wall and he was breathing heavily. What Ryder didn't know is that Xavier was super bipolar. He suffered from severe mood swings,  that were hard to get him out of once he was In own.  He slammed the palms of his hands on the wall next to my head.

    "Say it Kim" he sneered in my face making me flinch.  Xavier had never layed his hands on me so I wasn't  afraid of that.  But I had also never made him this mad.  "Say what" I asked confused on what he was asking me.  "Whose are You? " he asked angrily as his hands fell to my body pushing his own flush against mine. 

  "Xavier" I whispered.  He sighed angrily,  he kissed my forehead and then my nose and then my lips softly.  "please say It" he whispered. "i'm Yours" I whispered and then he kissed me urgently.

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