Day-locked - A Plants Vs Zombies Mature Fanfiction

High as the Moon - Chapter 1

Hey You! Yeah you reading this wierd fanfiction. Just for your information I do not own Plants Vs Zombies in any shape or form. PvZ is owned by EA (Electronic Arts) aka the cash stealers. For real EA wtf is with your micro-transactions? Lastly, this story doesn't have the best plot or characters or whatever the case may be, but the reasoning is because this is my first WattPad story so. Shit, let's start the damn story already:

Hi, I'm Richard. I'm a Hypno-Shroom that loves to play videogames, watch Rick and Marigold, and getting bitches. Okay the last part may be tough right now, but I swear I'm working on it! I just haven't found any chicks that want to go all the way at the moment.

Okay, Its going to be my first day in College! I already finished Highschool a while ago, I just took a five year break in between. I have a stable job at Pizza Slut and live in my apparment with my roommate Jake, a Chomper. But now it's time to stop sitting on my couch with a thumb up my ass and doing nothing.

These last couple weeks have been pretty boring, me and my roommate Jake were hanging out in the living room the other day and we talked about our game, our sex game. Long story short, it sucks. Me and him haven't picked up a date for what seems like years. "Dude. Jake, what the hell is wrong with us?" I say, sitting there playing my Plantstation 4. "I don't know, maybe it's because we're not going outside enough." "What!? Not going outside enough? Bitch I go outside everyday." Jake looks at me with a confused face. Even though chompers don't have eyes, you can always tell their expression some how. "How long do you stay outside for everyday?" I get that look on my face of disappointment, not in somebody else but disappointment in myself. "About thirty seconds until I go back inside and play Call of Zombies Black Ops 3." Jake sighs heavily, Ya' know, since he's a fucking chomper. They always sigh heavy as a damn dump truck. "First off, that's pathetic as hell. Second off, who the fuck still plays COZ Black Ops 3?" "The graphics are amazing and the character models and abilities are unique and fucking awesome! Okay? Black Ops 4 isn't that cool." Jake looked at me the kind of way a mother looks at her newborn baby if it was deformed. "Dude. we can argue about this for ages, or... We could smoke some." I nod to him as I reach for my Bongs. "True. True."

We then get high as hell while playing Call of Zombies for a couple hours until Jake says he has to sleep. I mean, he does have a job so it makes since. We both work at Pizza Slut, he just gets there first and leaves earlier. I then sit there by myself, playing videogames until my eyelids get heavy, and I slowly drift to sleep.