Shots Of Ishqbaazi

Dil Hi Toh Hai

Priyanka Singh Oberoi was 18 years old when she came out to her brothers. They were the first people she told. She had known for two years prior to that and had thought that this was a secret she would take to the grave, which had seemed easy enough for a while. After all, Priyanka had always been shy and reserved, with few people she could call true friends. Boys had asked her out, of course—she was the only daughter of the Oberois, and beautiful in a sort of understated way. Priyanka never said yes to anyone. Some thought it was because she was arrogant, some because she was shy, while others thought Priyanka's family was against her getting into a relationship. Well, barring the first everything else was true, but Priyanka managed to keep hidden the main reason she never went on dates. Before she was 16, she hadn't known the reason, either. All she knew was that when her friends talked about how hot a guy was, or how attractive Ranbir Kapoor looked, she could never really relate. Sure, some guys were indeed good looking, but she never felt any sexual attraction towards anyone, even in her teens. This didn't bother Priyanka until she realized that she did feel sexual attraction, just not for the opposite sex. Her life became a mess. She shut herself in, certain that everyone would hate her if they found out. But of course, her brothers, her three incredible brothers, just wouldn't let their little one suffer in silence, would they? After their persistent efforts, they finally managed to make Priyanka say the truth out loud for the first time—she was homosexual. Priyanka remembered crying in Shivaay's arms all night, as Om stroked her hair and Rudra sat in silence, perhaps for the first time. She apologized to them, for being different, for bringing them shame, for not being normal until finally, Shivaay shushed her.

"There's nothing wrong with you, baby," He assured her, wiping away her tears. "We still love you the same. Your sexual orientation doesn't change the fact that you are an amazing human being, and our little sister, okay?"

Priyanka was surprised, but she should have known—there was nothing she could do that her brothers wouldn't accept, that would make them love her any less.

"Sure, things will be a little different," Om said, honestly. "It will be difficult to make our parents understand but you don't worry, okay kiddo? Your brothers will be there for you throughout it all."

Overwhelmed, Priyanka had taken all of them into a tight hug and cried, this time in happiness. It was Rudra who had lightened the mood.

"Come to think of it, Prinku, now we can search for hot girls together!"

Everyone had laughed, and Priyanka had realized, amidst tears and smiles, that as long as her brothers were around, she would always be happy.

--

At the age of 21, Priyanka met Annika. Annika Trivedi was a force to be reckoned with, and unlike anyone Priyanka had met before. She had shifted from Delhi for a job in Mumbai, and despite being an orphan with no connections or inheritance, she had made a name for herself in the event management business. That's how Priyanka had met Annika—she had hired the latter on the recommendation of a friend, to arrange her parents' 30th anniversary. Annika had done a marvelous job, and Priyanka had found a friend in the process. Truth be told, she was in awe of Annika. Annika was everything Prinku was not. She was brave, hard-working, and not afraid to speak up for what was right: she was the only one who had ever managed to stand up to Shivaay bhaiya, for God's sake! And to top it all, Annika was kind. She had accepted Prinku in a way no one else had, without making her feel like she was any different just because she was attracted to someone she wasn't supposed to be attracted to. Annika Trivedi was bold and beautiful and gentle, and anyone could easily fall in love with her.

Priyanka was no exception.

She had given her heart to Annika. She had for the first time dreamt of a happily ever after, with a woman she loved and who she would easily fight the world for. Her life had never seemed so wonderful before Annika had entered. Annika had taught her to smile, to live, and most importantly, to love without limitations. Priyanka had a feeling Annika liked her too. She had never confirmed it because she had never felt the need to. Annika's care for Prinku, her undivided attention, and the way she had fought with the elders in Oberoi family to make them accept Prinku's reality spoke volumes. They were the best of friends, and for the first time in her life, Priyanka was not afraid to love without any fear. She wanted to tell Annika about her feelings, hold her hand and profess her love, but before that, she needed to tell her brothers. They were the first who deserved to know. Priyanka had laughed thinking what Shivaay bhaiya's reaction would be. It was a well-known truth that he and Annika hated each other's guts. But she knew that nothing would matter to him more than his sister's happiness.

The day Priyanka decided to tell her brothers was on Shivaay bhaiya's birthday. That was going to be her gift to him: the fact that she had found her happily ever after. Holding Shivaay's hand, she had dragged him to the balcony, an excited smile on her face. Shivaay too had looked exceptionally happy, saying that there was something he needed to share as well. It was his birthday, so Prinku had let him speak first. Years later, she would wonder if this simple decision had changed their entire lives.

"I'm in love with Annika," Shivaay had said. Priyanka had almost laughed, thinking this was some kind of joke, thinking maybe he had somehow found out about her feelings and was teasing her. But then she had seen the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability, the sheer, raw emotion. At that moment, Priyanka had known—Shivaay bhaiya loved Annika as much as she did, if not more.

--

Shivaay and Annika had gotten married a year later. It had taken Annika a while to let Shivaay in, to give their love a chance despite their differences. Priyanka had been Annika's number one supporter. Like a true best friend, she had stood by Annika throughout it all, the good times and bad times, without ever giving anyone an inclination of her feelings. Sure, a tiny part of her had hoped that Annika wouldn't relent, that she would instead look for love in Priyanka's arms, but the selfless side of her had prevailed. It was in that year of seeing Shivaay bhaiya and Annika's love story unfold that Priyanka had understood the extent of her own strength. Every part of her being urged her to go and plead to Shivaay bhaiya, to request him that please not her, anyone but her. But Priyanka knew that Shivaay would easily sacrifice his entire life for the sake of her happiness if only she asked, and Annika was his entire life. If not Annika, then it would never be anyone else. And so Priyanka endured. She cried herself to sleep for nights on end, but every morning she was back with a smile, the pain of losing her first love hidden carefully in her heart. On Shivaay bhaiya and Annika's wedding, she had danced the hardest.

--

Years later, Priyanka would sometimes laugh at her own younger self. The Priyanka who had been in love with Annika had been stupid and vulnerable. The one who was now in love with and dating Bhavya Rathore was strong and fierce, and able to look at Shivaay bhaiya and Annika without feeling a pang in her heart. Annika had been her first love, and this love had taught her so much. Mostly, it had taught her to be selfless in her love. Today, when she sees Shivaay bhaiya and Annika deeply in love and inexplicably happy, her heart fills up with warmth instead. Sometimes, she still sees a 'what-could-have-been' in Annika, but most of the time, she sees her best friend and her first love, because of whom Priyanka had learned to give love a chance in the first place. 

Today, when she sees Annika, she sees her own strength.

**********

A short one, but I needed to write this, as an ode to The Forgotten Oberoi as my girls have named her. This one's for silver_dustXX, BlackManiacx, and crazymaniac_. I miss dedicating stories to you three ❤️