victim

1 - hell

1 - hell

"joanna!" sabrina shouted at me.

this is how my life goes. being shouted at, being insulted, bullied. they hurt me physically, mentally, and emotionally. yes, i admit, i'm coward. that's the reason why i can't tell anyone about what i feel.

just because my parents left me, they don't have a right to do that to me. i can't even confront them because of my cowardness. this life is bullshit. there's this time when i thought of suicide, but when i killed myself, i will just prove to everyone that i'm a coward. so as the time pass by, i'm still being an optimist.

they're arrogants. they only maltreat a weak and wimp like me. let's see if they can bully a big guy. i believe they can't and never will.

"what do you need? bullshit!" i shouted back.

"well, well, well. what are you proud of?" she held my collar.

"what do you really want?" i said, this time, calmer.

"let me copy your assignment! slut! why are you even complaining? don't you know who i am?" she shouted.

it's a good thing for her but bad for me that we are the only people here in the classroom. it's so irritating. even though i wanted to come to school late to avoid her, i can't. because sister lauren would be mad at me. i scratched the back of my head.

"here." then i gave her my maths assignment. i always wonder why my life is like this? i believe i made no huge sins to be treated like this.

she grabbed the paper. "never complain to what i say, okay? you'll never win against me." she said. she held my collar, looked at me in the eyes and eventually left me.

"all of your food later at recess is mine, okay?" she looked at me in a scary way. i avoided her gaze. i don't like fights but here i am.

"sabrina!"

i looked at the one who shouted. it's anastasia, one of the mean girls and joanna's friend. i shaked my head.

"what did you do to her? hah, she looks like she haven't bathed since forever." anastasia smirked.

"i got her assignment. here, you can copy it." sabrina gave my assignment to anastasia.

anastasia got my paper and copied my work to her own assignment pad.

"i'm done. what will i do to this trash?" anastasia asked, pertaining to my homework.

"oh, that? i'll put it to the trashcan. give me that." after sabrina got my paper she acted like she's going to throw it outside the window.

"hey, what will you do? i worked hard for that!" sabrina passed the paper to anastasia then anastasia gave it back to sabrina. they do that for god knows how long.

here we go again. what's new? they do it everyday. they don't have conscience. all they know is to make my life miserable and to take advantage of my weakness. starting tomorrow, i will write my assignment twice so i won't write again in school. bullshit! this life is bullshit!

"stop! give me my assignment! oiiii!"

they stopped passing my paper and now it's in sabrina's hands. she'll tear it into to so this time, i begged her already.

"give me my paper! i did that for about an hour! have mercy, please! i'm begging you," i'm already in the verge of crying. here i am again. the crybaby and wimply joanna is coming again.

"that's what i like. hearing joanna's sobs. hahahaha!" she eventually ripped my paper in two and gave it back to me. i don't have an assignment already. i ran to the girl's comfort room and cried all the way there. that's what i do whenever this happens to me, which means everyday.

// ring ring

that's the bell that signals us that the first class will start already. i dried my tears and stood up from the corner of this cubicle i'm in. i need to be strong. i can't lose the fight.

"joanna kuchta, why are you late?" the first period teacher asks.

i wanted to say, "sabrina and anastasia made me cry," but that's too childish. maybe i will just lie.

"sorry, sir. i just got something from the lobby." i lied.

i saw the two smirk in their seats. i rounded my fists.

"okay, you may seat already."

"today, you'll make a poem about peace. family peace, school peace, world peace, it's up to you class. the number of lines are also up to you, but please, don't make it too short. the deadline would be tomorrow."

"what!?"

"sir, tomorrow? no!"

"move the deadline date to next week please!"

that's what my classmates said. but for me, i can do it in a day. an hour, even.

"oi," sabrina poked me in the back.

"what do you want from me?"

"you will make a poem for me. i want to get the grade of 90. if i didn't get the grade of 90, i'll kick your ass again.

"me? no. i don't want to."

"so you're saying no already? why? are you pretty? no, right? so you don't have the right to say no! if you didn't make me a poem, i'll get your food later at the recess time!" she threatened.

i'm in a no choice situation. i need to eat during recess. if i didn't, i'm hungry and my stomach will hurt. that already happened a few times. oh, not just a few times, many times. yes, many times. and all are because of sabrina and her squad. because of my stomach ache, i had a hard time listening to our teacher.

i felt something hit my back. it's a crumpled paper. i opened the it.

you'll make the poem or you'll make the poem? - sabrina

''i'll make it," i whispered.

+

// ring ring

finally, the bell rang. it's recess time already. the moment the teacher walked out of the room, sabrina poked me at the back.

"where's my poem?" she made her eyes big and led her hand to me, like she's getting something from me.

oh, shoot! i forgot to make her poem!

"uh, i h-haven't-"

i still haven't finished but she got the sandwich from my table.

"oi, what will you do? that's my food!" she teased me again by getting away from me, which ended up in us like playing tag in the room.

"before you can get this, you'll give me my poem." she showed me her tongue.

i just held my face because of frustration. i'm hopeless. i've got no chance in getting my food. i opened my bag to get my wallet but it's not there. i left it in the orphanage. looks like i'm not going to eat at recess time, so i'll just wait for the lunch time to eat.