Seven Teen

101

I dont think I've ever been happy.
not genuinely.
I think I was lying to myself, because I cant remember a time when I put a smile on my face and really, truely meant it.
At certain times, I even faked it. I smiled, but didn't actually smile on the inside.
And all these lies, to myself and to other people..
It made me realize how much i want to be open with the world. And honest.
And real.
My name is Zoe,
I'm 17 years old,
and I live, currently live, in London, England.
Over 17 years I've lived in about.. Too many cities. I've lost track.
I've lived in Manchester, Birminghem, Brighton..
I think my parents just get bored of things very easily.
It's currently 5:00 in the morning, on January 1st.
I've only moved here yesterday,
and me and my brother spent New Years Eve unpacking pretty much everything we own.
We're used to it.
We don't have time in each city to connect with anyone.
We've never bonded with anyone.
So I just have my brother.
- three hours later -
"Joe!" I was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him to come down. "Joe, come on now, we're gonna be late."
Finally, after waiting for about thirty minutes for my brother, I could hear his huge feet making their way to the bottom of the staircase.
"Took you long enough." I told him.
"Since when do you care whether we're late for school or not?" He laughed.
"Let's just go." I pulled him to the door. "Bye, mum, dad, we're leaving."
We left the house and began walking to the bus station.
"Why are you being so quiet?" Joe asked after a while.
I looked at him confused. "I'm not being quiet."
He half smiled. "You haven't said a word since we left."
"Well, niether have you!" I defented myself.
He didn't know what to say for a second, and I chuckled. "Well, but you've got this.. Look on your face." He pointed oddly with his hands.
"What look?" I chuckled again.
He gave up for a few minutes. But when we went on the bus, he asked again, "are you sure you're okay?"
I sighed. "Yes, I'm positive."
For the entire ride on the bus, and then on the tube, and then on the bus again, we didn't talk.
Not from embarassment, just because we didn't have anything to talk about.
Such a long journey to school.
We got off the bus, and then walked for like two minutes to the school.
I have been in about 9 schools in my life. Haven't loved a single one obviously, because how can you love school? But still, there were times when I was overwhelmed by a school. When I was surprised by the fact that someone actually cared about the school looking good. But this time, I could only think of one thing. "Mum and dad are probably planning on staying here for a while." I told Joe my thoughts.
He was too shocked to reply. "Is this even a school? Are you sure we're not at the queen's house?"
It wasn't an anteque.
It wasn't an old, beautiful building that was made into a fancy school.
It was modern, simple.
The floor was wooden.
The hallway was so wide, full of space and open.
You couldnt think a school could look so nice.
We went to the secritery's room, and our classes for the following year and a school map were handed to us.
When we left the office, I suddenly got this weird feeling that someone was staring at me. You know, when you can just feel it that someone is pointing it's eyes at you. I looked around, trying to find that person.
"What's your first class?" Joe asked me in my backgroud.
I kept looking, ignoring his question. The feeling was getting stronger and it just drove me insane.
"Zoe? Zoe!" He shook me up.
I looked in his eyes, annoyed. "What?!"
He laughed at me. "What's your first class, you weirdo?"
"Don't call me that," I looked down at my scheduale. "Literature."
He looked at the map that was given to us. "I have Spanish, it's quite near to each other, let's go."
He started guiding us towards our classrooms, and I was still impatient about finding whoever it was that was staring at me because the feeling didn't pass yet.
I looked all around me,
and just at the end of the very long hallway, I saw this guy.
He was staring right at me.
As if he knew me.
As if he wanted something from me.
I was a bit confused,
I didn't know what he wanted,
and whether I should be concerned.
I let it go. I just couldn't be bothered.
I hoped I was imagining the whole thing.