Only a Wish

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I'll make you delicious food for the rest of your life~

She's just so cute, isn't she?

Shuhua baobei?

Haha no shh.

Shuhua lays on her bed, remembering everything Soojin had said to her. She knows it was unhealthy to put herself in this situation, but what can she really do? Not after everything, not after those moments. The girl sighs, putting on a brave face. C'mon, Shuhua. You're stronger than this. Her inner thoughts projected onto her, but her body is limp. Her bed hadn't been better, it's even messier than usual. Though her members thought it was normal, Shuhua was just a really good actress.

She looks in the direction of the edge of the bed, she sighs. You should've known better. Her thoughts wandering once more to a certain brunette.

Taking her last energy, she stood up and grabbed a hoodie. She would've picked another one but she was too busy overthinking. So she settled on the one that Soojin gave her. Her heart felt even heavier, the scent of the cloth feels like a permanent stamp. It was always there, never erased, in her memory.

She managed to snatch the earphones on her desk and fell lazily on her own bed. Grabbing her phone, she put the playlist on shuffle. For you.

'For me? You were for me, if he hadn't come along'

Shuhua snickered bitterly, chuckling to herself to somehow divert the pain. Why do I always fall for people who don't feel the same? Dry eyes were now filled with tears threatening to fall.

I can't live without you~

Soojin's line felt like a mental stab on her chest.

I love you~

She had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from sobbing too loudly. Her tears now free, Oh how she wishes the other feels the same.

Boy oh there is no one like you

Boy? Of course. Of course it had to be a boy. Not me.

No one but you

You also told me that, but you didn't mean it that way. Of course you didn't— How could I have thought it meant something else to you??

Shuhua's sobbing didn't stop, her hand grips on her hoodie. Losing all the hope, she just wished for the pain to stop. All the moments Soojin and her had, were all nothing but a sick game.

Shuhua told herself that too, she really did. She tried, she tried to stop being so in love with the girl who always made her seaweed soup. She tried to stop being in love with the girl who would constantly cuddle her. She tried.

It was no use, love doesn't have to have a reason.

So why do I need a reason to fall out of it?

She smiled bitterly at herself, feeling pathetic. A reason? To stop? There were so many, her fingers couldn't even make half of it. The world was against her and the worst part, it was only her who was fighting. Soojin never returned the feelings, Soojin was just that kind of person, no special treatment. She was just Soojin and Shuhua liked that.

Shuhua likes everything about Soojin.

But did the latter feel the same?

Her breath hitched in her throat and if people thought her sobs were already loud, her breathing got heavier as well. Tired, she felt. Her shaky hands gripped her soft blanket, trying to find comfort in the silky sheet. It just reminded her of all the time she would grip Soojin's clothed pajamas tighter when they cuddle. She tried to blink the tears away.

Why do you do this to me?

Everything was just a fucking sick game for you huh?

I can't even blame you..

I'm the one who fell in love.

I guess, you falling in love with me—

It's just a wishful thought.

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