Rejected || Reddie

chapter one

I laid in the clubhouse hammock waiting. Waiting for Eddie Kaspbrak to meet me there, and hear what I had to say. It was going to be hard, but I just had to do it. My mom always said, "If not now, when?" While it usually was about me not cleaning my room, I looked at it in another way. If I never told Eddie how I felt, then there would never be a chance for us to be... together. Together? Me and Eddie? Hard to imagine honestly.

I tried not to think about the consequences of getting rejected, which was what was going to probably happen. I wouldn't be able to bare losing our friendship. He was my best friend. If I didn't have him then who was I?

My hand trembled violently as I read my comic book. Not that I was really reading it. Trying to take my mind off what I was about to do was impossible.

"Richie?"

I turned my head to the entrance of the clubhouse, which Eddie was entering through.

"What's this about? Why did you put a letter on my front porch saying 'Meet me at the clubhouse. Alone.'?" he asked with a look of concern on his face.

I clumsily fell out of the hammock while trying to step to the ground, making Eddie giggle in the process. My face turned red. Shit. This was it.

I stood up in front of Eddie, and was silent for a moment, taking in his features. His perfectly combed hair, the fanny pack he always had around his waist, his khaki shorts, his reddish-pinkish shirt with the two buttons near the collar. And of course, his almost knee high white socks. He was kind of tan, surprising based on how much his mother kept him inside, and was a lot shorter than me. My favorite thing though, was the freckles that dotted his cheeks and nose. He was so perfect, and here I was wearing my stupid Hawaiian shirt, large framed glasses, and hair that probably needed to be washed sometime soon.

I must of been staring at Eddie for pretty long because he snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"Richie! What the hell are you doing?" he exclaimed.

I woke out of my coma and regained myself. I stuttered trying to find my voice.

"Oh, Eds. Sorry. I- um. Well, just- sorry," I managed to spat out.

Eddie looked at me with confusion.

"What is wrong with you Richie? You are acting really weird. Please don't tell me you're sick," he said, warily taking a step back.

I shook my head. I apparently had not regained myself.

"What? No! I'm not sick! I just... need to tell you something. Something really important."

Eddie was silent.

"I... think..." I started.

Now his brow was furrowed, clearly frustrated.

"Tozier, c'mon! Just tell me what you have to say! I'm getting impatient!"

It was quiet for a second. I took a deep breath and just... said it.

"Eddie, I think I'm in love with you!"

It was quiet again. My whole body was shaking, and I squished my eyes shut. What was going to happen? It felt like it was taking Eddie forever to respond.

   Eddie widened his eyes, and it almost looked like he was blushing. But then a frown overtook his face.

"Huh!? B-But Richie... you're a boy... I can't like you back..." Eddie stammered.

He stopped for a second, staring into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Richie, but you can't possibly think that this could work. You see what happens to the gay men in this world?," Eddie asked, "They get sick. Then they turn into hobos or lepurs... I don't want that to happen to me... or... us..."

We were then just frozen for what felt like hours, not removing eye contact from each other. I wasn't much of the crying type, but right then, I was having trouble holding back tears. I felt humiliated.

I ran around Eddie to the exit to the clubhouse and ran all the way to the kissing bridge. I couldn't keep it in. The bawling began as I sat down near where I carved Eddie and my's initials not so long ago. I buried my face into my knees, knowing that I had just made the biggest mistake in my life. Things would never be the same. I couldn't live my life pretending that this had never happened. I couldn't possibly still be friends with Eddie. Everything just hurt. I felt like I had a forever-going brain freeze.

I continued crying for a good twenty minutes, when I heard something. It sounded like cackling laughter. I widened my eyes in horror as I realized what it was. The Bowers Gang.