Chapter fifty four

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Siwon is changing Yesung's bandages and tries to not twist his face in pain and sadness. Yesung is staring out of the window and occasionally whines in pain when it gets too painful. He knows that he must look disgusting but he isn't brave enough to look on his body. Siwon finally managed wrapping the bandages around the burns and Yesung slowly put on his shirt. Every move hurts and his stomach is still weak because of the painkillers. He is nauseous all the time and it is hard to keep some food in his stomach.

Siwon doesn't work, he took a break and now takes care of his poor baby. At least that there are enough evidences against Ryeowook, it showed up that he had to leave USA because he was stalking some guy. Yesung doesn't need to testify and Siwon's and Heechul's testimony is enough to describe how Ryeowook poured the scalding water over Yesung so he didn't need to speak about it in front of a court. Yesung is trying to get rid of the memories. He still wakes up in middle of night because he is scared that Ryeowook is standing in their bedroom. He knows that the crazy man was arrested but his mind is playing tricks with him all the time. It is so easy to see Ryeowook standing next to their bed in middle of their dark bedroom. After few nights of refusing to sleep, Siwon decided to buy a night light for him. The night light projects a starry sky on the walls and ceiling and it works really well. Yesung's mind always calms down after watching the colorful stars dancing around the room and Siwon also helps him with falling asleep by playing with his hair.

However their relationship is slowly dying. Siwon feels guilty and Yesung is scared to show his body to him. The bed feels wider and emptier than ever before, they sleep with lots of space between them. Siwon's heart hurts from seeing Yesung this broken, at least that he is okay with his blond hair. Heechul and Leeteuk are trying to find some way how to fix this situation and have a brainstorm with other friends. They have no idea that Siwon is also working on fixing this crisis. Yesung is taking a nap so Siwon has time for cooking a dinner for them. He decided to prepare Yesung's favorite tomato soup because his stomach can't take more food. The weather is still nice so Siwon set the table which is standing on the terrace and lights few candles before going to take a shower. Yesung woke up when the water stops running and slowly sat up. He has a fever but still got up to get water. Yesung is drinking the cold water and Siwon walked in the kitchen. He takes Yesung's small hand in his and leads him on the terrace. Yesung smiled after seeing his favorite food and Siwon throws a blanket over his skinny frame. They started to eat and watch the city around them. Seoul is very pretty when darkness hides the ugly things and only millions of small lights twinkle around them. Yesung finished the soup and looks on Siwon who has the annoying pitiful look in his eyes. He put his spoon down and glares on him.

"Stop looking at me like this!"

Siwon froze for a while and casted his eyes away.

"I just feel ..... like I caused all of these shits which happened to you. Maybe that I am only causing you pain."

Yesung looks on a candle close to him and sighed.

"Thats bullshit. I love you but I am not sure if you want me. My body is disgusting and it hurts really much."

Siwon quickly grabs his small hand and strokes the short fingers.

"Don't be scared Yesung, in few weeks you will get a new skin and you will look just like before."

Yesung smiled a bit but then has to ask one thing.

"Why did you fall in love with him?"

Siwon sighed because he asked this question many times.

"We met during studying at the same university and somehow we were so attracted to each other, I couldn't have stopped it. We were like ice and fire but that caused that our relationship was so good. We fought, argued but couldn't have lived alone. I thought that it is over when Ryeowook left the country and .... I was so wrong."

Yesung looks in Siwon's eyes and feels bad for asking when he sees tears in the sad eyes. They sit there for few silent minutes before Yesung shudders in cold and Siwon takes him inside. They go in the bedroom and Yesung slowly lay down before patting the place next to him. Siwon sat down next to him and slowly leans closer to him until their lips meet. Yesung wrapped his arms around Siwon's neck and deepened their first kiss after so many days. Siwon carefully lay down and focuses on not hurting Yesung's burns while still kissing him. They are kissing for few long minutes and then make love. Yesung feels much better after sleeping with Siwon, his worries mostly fade away and he feels connected to Siwon.

They are lying in their bed and cuddle. Siwon is stroking Yesung's naked arm and looks at peaceful face of his baby. Siwon kissed his forehead and rubs his cheek against top of Yesung's head. It feels good to feel worries and fears leaving your body and peace takes over Siwon's heart.

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