Quarantine Writing Challenge

Someone goes to extreme lengths to return something he/she borrowed

Ikea, folket älskar våra bollar!

Ikea Corporate Headquarters

Olof Palmestraat 1, 2616 LN Delft, Netherlands

INTERNAL MEMO

NOT FOR REDISTRIBUTION

The purpose of the following memo is to give my today's events as one of the main individuals involved. As you are no doubt aware, a version of our meatball recipe has been recently released to the public. These are unprecedented times, and sensitive matters such as this must be handled with the upmost delicacy. As several of you are aware, the version released has been heavily redacted. I have undertaken actions preventing the unthinkable from happening. It goes without saying that if the full uncensored version of our recipe were released upon the unsuspecting masses, the result would be nothing short of global pandemonium. The following events led to the recipe's near leak to the general public.

Recently, many branches of our store have closed as a precaution to prevent the spread of the novel coronavirus. It was a stressful and busy time for all of us. An corporate employee who claimed to be under the influence of a sugar high after consuming a drink with too much Dryck Fläder one evening, took home the full version of our meatball recipe, planning to share it with friends and family. Few people have seen the recipe uncensored. The contents of the recipe shocked this man to his core, and he was compelled to call his superior, myself. I assured him that I would handle the situation. The recipe would be returned to us without anyone reading it not meant to do so. I met this man at an undisclosed location. The rest of the events following are highly sensitive, but I can confirm that the situation was dealt with.

The recipe is now back in our hands. To prevent this situation from occurring in the future, we have made the decision to release a heavily censored version of the real recipe, so that no one outside of our circle will feel compelled to borrow it. I've also changed the lock on our official cookbook. Employees outside of this circle will be told that the recipe was purposefully released, and that the recipe available to public is the full and actual recipe. I wish you all health and happiness in this difficult and uncertain time.

[THE AUTHOR OF THIS MEMO WISHES TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS]