How Robine Died

one | waking up from a slumber

I CAN HEAR Robine's laughter echoing across the room. She has this kind of laugh that when you hear it, you'd know immediately that it's her. She has a contagious laugh, everything about Robine is contagious and admirable. She's smart, not those straight A students though but she's wise. She never misses a class, never flunks a test, she knows how to study and have fun at the same time.

My eyes remains wide open as I lay stiffly on my bed, staring at the clock on the far side of my room, resting beside a photograph of me when I was twelve. My black dress is still hanging on my dresser, untouched, the clock ticks, another second passes, a minute, but I'm still glued in my position. Any minute now my mom would probably be calling from downstairs telling me that we should get going if we don't want to miss the service.

Robine's funeral service.

But the thing is, as much as I love Robine, I want nothing to do with her funeral service. I don't want to step inside that chapel where her coffin is by the altar. I don't want to receive sad smiles and encouraging words from friends, classmates, and even people that we didn't know. Of course it would be a much different toll on her parents, but I would still get majority of those condolences because I was her best friend, and just like her, I was also in that car accident.

The car accident that ended Robine's life.

"Chast!" my mom calls from downstairs and I cover my face with my blanket. I don't want to cry. If I do, and if my mom sees me, she would worry, and then she'd tell me that it'll all be okay and it was nobody's fault. It was an accident, and maybe God intended for Robine's life to end that way, albeit abruptly, but it's all part of God's plan.

But it isn't. I'm pretty sure it isn't, and I'm pretty sure that Robine would still be here have I not been so stubborn and reckless.

But I can't tell her any of that. I can't tell anyone. No one knows what happened that time, and no one knows that I in fact do remember every single detail that night.

Because I lied.

🔖🔖🔖

one week ago

THE FIRST THING I hear when I wake up is the sound of my mother's comforting voice telling someone's that it's all going to be okay. Everything feels hazy, and blurry, but it didn't take me long to figure out that I was in a hospital and that I am laying down on an hospital bed.

I look around me but there's a sharp pain that echoes through my head. Hungover. I know I shouldn't drink too much, even if it's a weekend, and even if it's a week after graduation.

I wonder how Emiline is feeling.

The television mounted on the wall is on but it appears to be muted. I can see my dad snoring on the small visitor's couch beside the window. I wonder what happened that ended me up here, is it alcohol intoxication?

I rack my brains up for anything but all I'm getting is a picture of a blurry night and nothing else. The door is ajar and that's where my mom's voice is coming from, along with the sound of another woman who's apparently crying.

I listened in on the conversation to know what the fuss is about and to also know the reason why I'm at a hospital. What day is it?

I realize after a few minutes that my mom is actually talking to Mrs. Cuoco, Robine's mom. She always prefer for Robine's friends to call her Kathy since she's Katherine, but my mom would never allow me to, so I got used to calling her by the surname.

Why is she crying though?

The door opens, and that's when my mom found me already awake. She rushes to my side as she asks me how I was feeling.

"Fine, I guess?" I answer, "I'm sorry for the drinking."

My mom just patted my hair, brushing it with her hands as she hugs me sideways.

"Was that Robine's mom you were talking to outside?"

She has this sad look in her face and it makes my stomach lurch in a bad way. Something in my gut is telling me that whatever is bound to happen next is something that I wouldn't want to hear, but I ask anyway, "What happened?"

My mom sighs and then she asks, "Do you remember what happened last night?"

We were at a party. Robine and I. And then...

My heart started pounding; when I put two and two together it didn't take me long to realize that the words that I'll be hearing next is something awful, somethig terrible. All I can remember were laughter and music from the party, blurred nights as I drive Robine and I away from the party, the convenience store, the root beer and Robine's diet coke, the fight, a flash of light from the side of the car. I look at my mom but I couldn't make out the words coming out of her mouth. I suddenly can't hear anything, nothing makes sense. Everything is just noises and it's making it hard for me to breathe.

Oh good heavens.

Is Robine...

"... unfortunately...," I try to focus on my breathing, on listening to my mother, "... arrival, sorry..." but I couldn't make out any sound that I hear, "Robine ... gone."

—

I got discharged from the hospital the following day. No other serious injuries, but just a careful warning from the doctors about the intake of alcohol, the driving, and a few words from my mother about being responsible next time. She didn't give me a hard time with this one considering that I am still in the process of recovering.

I'm still in daze with the news of Robine no longer being a part of this world. It seems just like yesterday that she's fully alive. It can't be.

It can't possibly be.

I didn't ask anything from my mother after she told me the news. I'm letting the idea sink inside my head, wanting it to be just a prank or whatever just so I wouldn't have to overthink a lot of things.

But me avoiding overthinking just leads me all the more to a lot of overthinking and it's making my head explode because my mind is everywhere.

Robine is dead.

And it could've easily been because of me.

📰📰📰

Hello loveliesss!

It's been so looonggg.

I stopped writing since 2019 I guess? Aside from not having the motivation to do it, I also got busy with life and so I didn't have the right or the proper mindset to write something. I even forgot all the things that I wanted to with the story. To be honest, I've had like more than five chapters of this story in an old laptop and that laptop got broken so yeah, I've lost the will.

Anyway, I don't know if people are still excited to read the things that I write because well, I'm terrible at writing updates and all that.

Anyway, I hope you get intrigued with this one and I do hope that you'd be curious enough to read and wait for the chapters.

Don't forget to hit that like/vote button and leave a comment for your thoughts about the story so far! I'd really appreciate it <3

Thank u so much and see you on the next update!!!