(bxb) A New Wolf

a runaway

WARNING GRAPHIC VIOLANCE AND SEXUAL ABUSE IS IN THIS STORY. IF YOU GET TRIGGER BY THOSE THINGS PLEASE CLICK AWAY.

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i layed on the bed. i feel numb, but still dirty... he was gone and done for now.

i slowly got up, it hurt to walk... but i had to. i didnt want to be beat again. i was shaking when i went to get my clothes, which were thrown on the floor. i got my clothes and gathered the messy sheets, stained with blood, and cum, i shuddered thinking back to how those stains got there... 

it was now more then ever i wanted to actually put on my clothes but i had to wait for him  to return. he always liked to see me when its all over, see the mess he made all over me. like a prize... 

i stood still when he came back. the sheets in the hamper, and my clothes in my hands.

"you look good.." a voice came from the doorway.

a single tear rolled down my cheek, the compliment sounded nice, but it was a pang in the heart to me. and we both knew it.

"a tear? your crying for more aren't-chya?-"

he started to walk closer, i didnt move, knowing complying was easier then fighting. all i could do was cry, and shake, and pray to god. 

he got only a inch away from me and leaned down so our faces where at the same level. his face had no emotion. looking into me, as if looking into my soul...

"ay? you want me to do it again? and maybe i will..." he went around me, and i instinctually stepped forward to get father away. he grabbed my shoulder with a tight grip, so i couldnt get away. my body froze, as i felt his finger draw along my back. along my scars... 

"look at my art? isnt it nice?...." he stopped his finger on my back... and started slowly, ever so slowly, trailing it downwards... i had no clothes on, nothing to protect myself...

he stopped at my waist and started to undo his pants... the cycle goes again...

(afterwards)

i was crying, no sobbing. tears streaming down my cheeks. i was still sore, and couldnt stand. 

my legs had collapsed after shakingly walking to my room. here i sat on the ground.... 

thinking about what he did... 

my heart, and breathing going 100 miles per hour. i go into a flashback of what he did 

a thick, hard, arm over me... restraining me, holding me down. i felt his weight ease onto mine, and then i felt.... his... thing.... i couldnt even bare to think about it much...

i remmebr my fear, my shaking making my teeth chattering. 

then him pushing my face into the mattress, his hand was sticky.... 

"your my little pet you know that? and love you, i love how you feel..."

from then on i dont really rememeber much, from all my breathing, heart beating, pain, and bloodloss... i mustve blacked out.

cause when i woke up, i was on my back. and he was on top of me. kissing me....

"welcome-.... back-" he said between kisses. his breathe, smelt of cigarettes, and alcohol. 

i submit out of fear. but all of my brain, my nerves, my heart, and cells. i want to run away.

suddenly im back in my room, tears still streaming, and im still shaking. 

i get enough courage to feel the sore area, where his.... had been... i touch it and it hurts, and when i see my hand again, theres blood. 

"i feel dirty, and sickly.... im just garbage... i am gross.. worthless.."

i head to the bathroom to have a shower to wash off cum, and blood. but i know the blood inside me cant be cleaned.

i have my shower and head back too my room, but before i can i catch myself in the mirror. my face has a red hand mark where he pressed me down. i turn to see my back, it has tally mark scars. and a fresh new one today. the total adds up to 37.

all the times he molested me... but its been going on since i was 7, im 18 now... he only started tallying  2 months ago... 

i head back to my room but before i do i pass the kitchen, i check up on my mom. she is asleep, drunk, on the couch, with alcohol bottles, all around her. 

she doesnt know about me and dads... bonding.... shes too drunk, and gone all the time to care. even if i have red hand prints she wouldnt notice.

i wish she never met Chad... then this wouldnt have happened... but if that were the case i wouldnt exist.

i head back to my room and collapse on my bed. the sex is getting worse. more aggresive... i start to have another flashback to it

"your just a filthy mutt, my pet... say it."

i hesitate from fear, but eventually comply after he thrusts into me again., with ever more aggresion

"im a mutt...! a filthy... mutt!... your pet!" i say  in between gasping sobs.

he seeems to get happiness from this and moans.

 im in my room on my bed, and i look out the window, im on the second floor, and the roof is under my window, above the front door. if i ran away, i could escape through my window and off the deck. 

i think about this well two sides of my mind argue

"he might find you escaping, and punish you..."

"but if you dont now, he will continue having sex with you... more aggresive..."

"but your nothing withought him, he is the only one that gives your life meaning."

"id rather die then be with him!"

and its settled. i escape tonight.

i get my school bag, and start packing clothes, and food. i pack crackers, canned food, a can opener... but thats all i can find. 

i change out of my pjs, and i put on a black long sleeve shirt and tuck it into high rised jeans, then i put on my black jacket, and i put on my shoes. im ready to leave physically,

but a piece of my mind will always stay in the trauma experienced here, that piece of my mind will never leave....

i grab my bag, and carefully head out my window, onto the roof, and then i drop myself down into a bush. it doesnt help break the landing, but it does somthing. i look back at the house for a second. relizing this will be the last i see of it.

"if everything goes well" i think.

im about to turn to leave, but i see a light turn on in a all too familiar room, and hear someone yell in a deep, angry, terrifying tone. "ERIN?" and with that i take my que to run and i dont look back. even when i hear the front door open.

well thank you for reading. this is my first book, and please give me some constructive criticism, id love to hear it!