[OLD] Say You Love Me | Boy x Boy

Ben(Prologue) - The Only Lie I Told Is When I Said "I Love You"

Hi! Please read the list of trigger warnings in the previous chapter before you start. Just to clarify, this chapter is in 3rd person and the rest of the story is in 1st person. It was an intentional choice. Anyway, on to the story! I hope you enjoy it! <3

Pain is temporary, they say, but scars are forever, and scars make us stronger, right?

Wrong.

If scars really made us stronger, then Ben wouldn't be so weak--he would have the strength to bear the load that sits on his shoulders. And if pain were temporary, then why does it still hurt? It's just not logical: it's been two weeks since Monica Jones left Ben Kingston, but Ben still feels empty--almost as empty as when they were dating. Empty in a way that should be foreign to the most popular senior ever to hit Oak Ridge High. The quarterback, star of the team who has led it to victory during every game for years, isn't supposed to feel empty.

Just because she cheated doesn't mean his life is over. Does it?

Ben sighs. He knew it would be a toxic relationship, and he knew it would end this way, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. He knew she was using him. So why did he agree anyway? To prove yet another point to his homophobic asshole of a mother.

Ben sighs heavily. He was loyal, was he not? What did he do wrong? He would have easily traded anything in the world for a happy ending, but maybe Monica wasn't meant to be his. He made every possible sacrifice and gave her everything--both literally and figuratively, considering how wealthy both of their parents are. It should have been perfect: a stereotypical love story between the quarterback and the most popular girl in school; the twig-thin, pill-popping girl with double-D implants that her rich parents paid for, a tacky yet obscenely expensive spray-on tan, a diamond ring from each of her previous lovers--except for Ben, of course--and stick-straight, hip length blonde hair that every guy is supposed to pine after shamelessly.

So what if her brown eyes have no soul or depth? Ben supposes it always bothered him a little, but he pays it no matter: when the perfect, stereotypical couple goes on to become prom king and queen, graduate high school, go to college and live a happy life together, it'll be worth it, right? But if they were stereotypical and perfect, why wasn't he surprised when he gave Monica everything only to show up at her house on prom night to find her on the porch making out with some scrawny sophomore? And why was he too gay to care?

It didn't matter to Ben that his needs were never important to Monica and she never came to any of his football games, even knowing how much it would mean to him if she did, if only just to one. It's not like he expects Monica to care that he's the quarterback--star of the football team--but the effort displayed would have been a welcome change. Maybe when you're dating a girl, they're not supposed to put in any effort, or even bother to be nice. You're just supposed to date them anyway because that's how the world works, and if you don't work with it, you'll be left behind.

He didn't mind that Monica never seemed to have any time to spend with Ben unless it involved one of those late night parties he always turned down only to end up dragged there by her when she wasn't invited to in the first place. He might have been able to tolerate it if he, who had never touched an alcoholic drink in his life, didn't have to drive Monica home almost every night when she was too drunk to know her own name, much less his. While Ben was studious and got straight A's before he met Monica, he now had to stay up late almost every night to finish his homework and compensate for the time spent at the dreaded parties, or else he'd be failing 3 of his classes, which would mean the football coach would have to bench him and his parents would have his head on a platter. Not that he'd ever wanted to play football--it was always just another one of his parents' vicarious aspirations for him that he couldn't turn down. Just like having a girlfriend, even though he's gay, so his mom won't suspect anything. If his mom knew about his sexuality, of course, she'd probably just kick him out or something and bribe one of her rich flings into baring a new child--not that she ever seemed to want one in the first place.