Carla x Monty- Holiday Heartbreak

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19TH

Today in swimming class we had a skills test on diving.

"Now class, the objective of this skills test is to measure your ability to dive AND retrieve the objects from the bottom of the pool as quickly as possible,"  our teacher explained. "You'll be diving for seven plastic rings."

Come on! What's the point? What are we training for? A dolphin show or something?! Why doesn't our teacher just sell tickets to see us perform and throw us fish as a reward when we do a good job? I'm just sayin'!

But get this! I couldn't believe there was no ambulance or some elite emergency team here to rescue us.

You know, like the ones you always see on the sidelines at our football games.

Didn't it dawn on our teacher that we might need CPR or maybe even oxygen?

Or how about one of those supersized rescue-hook thingies to pull us out of the water in the event of an emergency?

Buggs was next in line to take his skills test. When the teacher yelled "DIVE!" Buggs dove into the pool, making a pretty large splash. Within about a minute he had scooped up all of the rings and was back out of the pool with a pretty average time for something like this.

He waved and blew kisses to everyone like he had just won a gold medal in the Olympics or something.

That guy is so VAIN!

However, I was not the least bit intimidated.

Mum had purchased everything I needed for my skills test from a yard sale last summer . . .

Anyway, when my teacher hollered "DIVE!" I jumped in and grabbed all the rings in record time. Beating the whole class!

My gym teacher congratulated me on my remarkable performance. But then she got an attitude about the whole thing and gave me a . . . 

big fat D 😥! (That was so weird to write-)

I was so DISGUSTED!

"Sorry, Monty," my teacher said. "But you're diving for plastic rings, NOT sunken treasure! No scuba gear is allowed!!"

Apparently, it was against the pool rules. But HOW was I supposed to know THAT?!

The only sign about rules I saw said . . .

POOL RULES
1. NO running!
2. NO eating!
3. NO horseplay!
4. NO peeing in the pool!
5. NO floating toys!

There was nothing on that list that said . . . 

NO SCUBA GEAR!

That's when I totally lost it and yelled at my teacher. "Sorry, lady, but I'm NOT some humpback whale capable of diving to the deepest, darkest, most dangerous depths of the pool. I NEED my mask, wet suit, regulator, tank and scuba fins. Besides, the water is so deep my eyeballs could pop out. And I could die from decompression sickness.

Worse yet, YOU didn't even bother to have an ambulance here just in case I needed to be rushed to the hospital! SO let me see YOU dive to the bottom of the pool without having a massive stroke or something!"

But I just said that in my head, so no one else heard it but me.

That diving skills test was SO unfair! I should definitely get a do-over!! I'm just sayin'!! 😔!!