How To Love A Bad Man|Thomas Shelby

4| if only you could see beauty

Probably the most bizarre thing that I'd ever done was volunteer to be a bar maid at the Garrison. I couldn't see, yet I agreed to pour glasses of alcohol, that were placed in various areas.

Lucky for me, I had another barmaid to aid me. Grace, an Irish women who wanted to sing on Saturdays. "Rosalind, there are three taps behind you. Whiskey, beer and champagne. Those are the main ones, I'll do the others."

It was a challenge to figure all it out. I turned around and felt a tap, there was one each side of it. "Did you say it in order?" Grace hummed a 'yes'. "So the middle one is beer right?"

"100%, better bar maiden than me already." I shook my head, I'd never be a better bar maiden, I wouldn't know where the bar would be half the time. "The glasses, if you put your hand up a bit, are to the left." She informed me, I did what was said and the iciness of the glasses spread to my fingers. Got them.

I didn't care how the job ended up for me, so long as I got a bit money to get by and not resort to my father, I was happy. This seemed like the most logical option, as I was kept in quite a confined space for most of the time.

I jumped when a fist collided with the counter, not hard, but enough to startle me. "Pick out a dress." The clink of money being thrown on wood was prominent to my ears. Grace, she must've done something to get the attention of Thomas Shelby, hopefully in a better way than I did. "Are you listening Rosalind?"

I wasn't paying attention. "Me?"

"Yes you, pick out a dress." The money that I heard clanking was placed in my sweaty palm. "Get something red, to match with Kimber."

"How am I meant to pick out a red dress Mr. Shelby?" I quizzed confusedly, all the clothes I had been wearing were set in groups for me by travellers I had met. I didn't even know the occasion, what if I put on the dress wrong? I didn't want to embarrass a family with status. "And what is the event?"

"The event is the races. About the dress, I'll get Polly."
I thought he was going to walk away, but instead he sat at the bar for a minute. "Get me a beer Rosalind."

I moved my scatty hands behind me and called back, "just call me Rose if it's easier." I shakily searched the counter for glasses and sighed in relief when I flashed my hand round one. Middle tap, middle tap.

I twisted the middle tap and let it pour for a few seconds, then I grimaced and passed it to Thomas on the parallel counter. "Not terrible, but it's half full Rose."

"She did her best." Grace laughed sweetly, but it was anything but. I just wanted to be capable, I appreciated the Irish woman's help, but now it was just sour.

"Polly will be here in 15 minutes."

Then he was gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - /

"You don't have any sight whatsoever do you?" Polly grunted frustratedly, I shook my head 'no' feeling incapable once again. We were strolling, and I kept wandering off without even meaning to. Any shop she pointed out just seemed in a direction that didn't exist. "Take my arm...Don't look like that. It's not happening again."

Gratitude was something that rarely blossomed from my heart, but in that moment it was fierce and uncontrollable. Generally, I had to ask for people to guide me, but Polly Gray wasn't daft, and even she would offer her arm for a blind woman. I didn't bother thanking her, it would hold no meaning.

She lead me just a little further before instructing me to mind the step, a little bell rang as we step foot in the dress shop. The floor was solid, not creaky. Polly let go of my arm but grabbed my hand roughly and brought it straight forward, I felt silk gather on my hand. It probably was gorgeous, but the inside was abrasive.

"Not that one."

"Not that one? It's the best one in here." Polly sighed and took me to the next rack of red dresses. This time it was a mixture of silk and lace, on the inside it was soft. I loved wearing dresses, when I used to be able to see them, I just adored staring at every detail. Lace dresses were my favourites.

"I like this one." I pressed on my tip toes until I could clasp the dress into my hands. "Is it presentable enough for the races?"

"I'll just say that men will not be looking at their wives." I frowned, I didn't want unfaithful men taking an interest in me. I wanted a loyal man, one who was strong to take interest. "We'll go on then! Try it on."

I rushed into an area to the side of the counter, blindly fumbling with the dress, but thankfully it was quite simple. I slipped my feet in first, pulled it up the rest of my body and excitedly slid my arms in the short sleeves.

The dress curtain was pulled by an impatient Polly who knew I was done. "Pity, if only you could see beauty."

"At least I can hear and feel it still." I replied sadly, imagining how beautiful the dress was, it it hugged my curves enough or was too loose on some.

"At least you have that going for you."