Destinia: First Year at Hogwarts

Chapter 6: A Shoulder to Lean On

It was late in the day already, around eight o'clock. Draco and Pansy were both seated in the common room on their usual couch. Pansy was happily chatting away about whatever, but Draco wasn't paying attention. His thoughts were racing, panicked, but determined. It was now or never, he thought and looked Pansy right in her brown eyes.

     "I have to talk to you," he blurted out, in a low voice for any eavesdroppers. Pansy looked quite taken aback. Draco knew she hated being interrupted when she was talking, but her gaze softened quickly, as if knowing this was important to Draco.

     Draco stood up and so did Pansy. He led her down the corridor to his dormitory, which was luckily empty, and sat down on his bed. Pansy took a seat on a chair next to it and started, "So, what is it, Draco?"

     Draco fidgeted with the rim of his button-up before meeting her eyes. He couldn't hide the desperation in his own and saw her brows furrow. "Draco?" she asked again, her voice worried. Draco couldn't take it anymore. All those years of not being able to open up to anyone, of keeping everything to himself. He simply broke.

     "Pansy... I, I can't take this anymore... any of this..." he muttered, looking at the ground. All the secrecy of his headmaster only adding up to the usual pressure of being the Malfoy heir. Tears started forming in his eyes, although he tried to hide it, to not let them fall. But he knew he hadn't a chance.

     Pansy sighed, moving to sit next to him on his bed, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's all right, Draco, you can tell me..." she whispered, giving him a reassuring smile as he looked up. Draco smiled back slightly.

     "Everything is just too much..." he started, trying his best to keep himself together at least a little longer, "Everything... the responsibilities of being the Malfoy heir... my father's pressure... school... having to be the best..." He sniffed as a tear started rolling down his cheek. He felt a warm hand wipe it away and looked at Pansy, smiling soothingly at him, understanding shining slightly in her eyes.

     "And... and then that book... and the secrets surrounding it..." he continued, still looking at Pansy, more tears staining his pale cheeks. "Dumbledore knows what it is, Snape knows what it is, even bloody Flitwick knows all about it!" Draco felt the anger of the night before rise inside of him again.

     He jumped off the bed and out of Pansy's grip. He had no idea how, although as young as he was now, he hadn't broken before already. "Why am I the only one who can read the bloody book!?" he shouted, "Why do I have to do this?! Why not someone else?! WHAT IS THIS BLOODY THING!?" He threw the book which he had picked up off his bedside table, at the wall. He immediately regretted it, though, as it fell open on page 1. He read the title, The Boy Who Lived.

     He calmed down slightly and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to fall freely. No one else besides him and Pansy were here, and he trusted Pansy completely.

     He ignored the ruffling coming from his bed.

     Draco didn't know why. He had no idea how the girl had gained his trust in less than a week. His father always told him he couldn't trust anyone, let alone girls, but it just felt so right.

     He flinched when he felt two slender arms surrounding his upper body. Opening his eyes, Draco looked right into Pansy's shoulder. Understanding her meaning, and feeling slightly more at ease, Draco dropped his head in her shoulder, returned the embrace only half, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the proximity, and cried. Cried for, how long, he couldn't remember. Cried freely for the first time in his life. Cried until his tears vanished, his throat dry, and Pansy still embracing him, running a hand slow and comforting over his back, calming him.