I don't like him

Chapter 5: It was love

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After that night, everything changed for me. I love a boy and that boy loves me back, could that sound any weirder? The next day, I check my cell phone and have twenty miss calls from Nicky. Oh Shit, I haven’t talked to Nicky since Thursday. I call her back immediately. She answers me and says:

-“Where the fuck have you been? The most amazing thing happened to me yesterday and you weren’t there."

-“What happened? Tell me. I’m dying to know.” I say.I feel like Nicky is happy about something.

-“You know that yesterday I had my first date with Marcus, well it went amazing! We are going out again tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and maybe Tyler can come.”She said relly excited.

I really don’t know about that. The last time I went to a party I had sex with Tyler and Tyler has a girlfriend. If people see me in a party with him, Erica is going to simply cut my head. After a long pause I tell Nicky that I can’t because Tyler has a girlfriend that is not me and I hang up quick. I can’t even think that Tyler has a girlfriend. I hate thinking about it which is all the time. My biggest fear is getting too attached to Tyler. I know that he is going to leave me one day.  I don’t feel like this is forever. My mind keeps working and thinking bad and negative thoughts. I have to make a decision about this relationship of mine. I start crying and lie down. I fall sleep. I wake up because my phone was vibrating. I look at the phone it was Tyler. I hang up and go back to sleep. The next day at school I avoid Tyler. I don’t go to the classes that I have with him, just English which if I don’t go the teacher reports me to the office. But I sit down in the back of the room so Tyler doesn’t even see me. At lunch I sit with Nicky and her new boyfriend, Marcus. But I see Tyler holding hands with Erica and sitting down in the stupid “popular” table. Tyler looks up and our eyes connect but I look down rapidly. I know he knew I was about to cry. I go excuse myself from the table and go to the bathroom were nobody goes so that nobody sees me crying. I wipe out my tears with a raw paper towel which makes my eyes puffier. I put some makeup on and try to look happy. I go to the last class of the day, history. The class passes fast. When the bell rings I get out of the class almost running and look only to the exit door. But when I am almost getting out of there, Tyler stops me.

-“Hey” he says trying to look me in the eyes but I don’t let him. I keep my head down.

-“Hi” I say quickly and start walking out the door. He stops me and says: “What is wrong Kate? You haven’t talk to me all day. I try to say something to you but you avoid me and I want to know why.”

-“Do you really want to know why I haven’t talk to you today? Why I have been avoiding you today? Well because you have been all day kissing and holding hands with Erica and that makes me so uncomfortable that I can’t even look at you right now. I think we should end this little affair. You demonstrated today that you wanted to be with Erica and I get it. She is perfect, rich, and beautiful. You can’t get any more out of that, right? So let’s just end it.” I say almost out of breath. I don’t wait for him to answer because I don’t want to really know what he is going to say so I leave immediately. I am not mad at Tyler, I am mad at myself for getting into this mess when I knew I was going to get hurt.Life puts you in difficult situations where you don’t know what to do because you can do the right thing or just do the wrong thing and know that you are doing it with love. Tyler and I got together that summer night without thinking it was wrong just doing it because we had a desire to do it. After we got together again at school I knew it was the wrong thing because I knew he had a girlfriend but I had this inner force in me that made me do it. Later on I found out what was that inner force, it was love. But I guess love sometimes makes mistakes and chooses wrong.