My Love
Do you recall those late nights with me?
The endless hours of hanging out,
Getting close,
Spending time,
And slowly,
But most definitely,
Falling,
In,
Love.
Do you recall first meeting?
I was brand new to my job,
Still learning the rules,
And you broke one very important rule to tell me one,
And from that moment on,
We began to learn about each other.
Do you recall that following summer sharing that job?
I got promoted early,
And you were there to help me and learn with me,
Bringing me my favorite energy drinks,
And snacks because you wanted to,
Because you were so kind to,
Sour patch kids and a white monster,
And I would always share with you ,
Like you shared your favorite jacket with me,
Claiming I was cold but really,
You smelled so damn good.
Do you recall those late night adventures?
Driving around and listening to music,
Singing our hearts out,
Showing me a new type of music that I still listen to,
The late night food runs,
Wawa at 3 in the morning,
Mickey D's,
Taco Bell,
Blueberry Hill,
Where the nighttime sky flowed calmly through my soul,
Where I found a song I listen to on repeat because I associated you with it,
"LOVE",
It was the first time I snuck out to see you,
Where you told me,
"Put on clothes that you can get dirty and shoes you ruin",
You took me out on your birthday when I was unaware,
Because you wanted to spend time with me.
Do you recall being on the phone at the most ungodly hours?
Talking about utter nonsense,
Or texting like we had no one else,
Losing sleep over each other just to talk about nothing,
Knowing I still had to go to school in the morning,
Willing to sacrifice that sleep just to hear your voice.
Do you recall when my mother first heard of you?
3 am,
We were surrounded by police,
I was 16,
You were 18,
I figured it was okay since,
"I'm with an adult",
Walking the park past it's curfew,
Laughing,
Talking,
Just us,
Where we sat at this dock while I was showing you stupid videos,
Thinking I wanted to kiss you for the first time,
I was eager to,
But I was shy,
So I didn't,
But I craved to.
Do you recall that night?
Where everything almost went to hell,
Well,
It did,
Kind of,
That night,
I thought I was going to lose my sense of innocence,
Not ready to fall in love,
So I blocked you,
I cut out every sense of you I had,
And from that night,
It went to hell,
I had lost you,
So many times,
I came close to no longer existing from everything that was going around me,
Losing you,
School,
My mother,
I came so,
Goddamn,
Close.
Do you recall when I unblocked you after months?
You didn't question it first,
Neither did I,
I missed you dearly,
Feeling as if I had lost a part of my heart,
Unable to breathe knowing you weren't beating in my life,
That night we talked for hours,
Hours that couldn't make up those months,
Hours that I couldn't explain nearly everything that I needed to,
Hours that could have been spent sleeping for school in the morning,
But hours just talking,
Tears just falling,
Breaths just breaking,
Hours.
Do you recall our new chapter?
Late nights with me,
Endless hours of hanging out,
Getting close,
Spending time,
And slowly,
But most definitely,
And most surely,
Falling,
In,
Love.
Do you recall holding my hand while you drove?
It just happened,
You never admitted how you felt,
Neither did I,
Saying I refused to think love was real,
While you agreed,
Both thinking the opposite,
Those hugs that seemed to have lasted forever when you dropped me off.
Do you recall the last minute beach trip?
Where everything was essentially perfect for me,
Not so much you,
Because you indeed got into some trouble,
Being out past 3,
Making it home by 5,
Just in time for me to start getting ready for school in the morning,
Holding hands while we drove there,
I found a new song to associate you with,
"Natural",
Where the warm ocean air danced with us as we fell into an embrace under the full moonlight that changed my life forever,
Where I had to admit to myself that love was real,
Thinking that was the second time I was dying to kiss you,
And I almost did.
Do you recall the first night I slept over?
You right by my side,
Cuddling me,
Holding me,
Although we had not expressed our love yet,
Nor slept that night because I needed to be home before my mother would wake up,
I was right by your side,
Feeling each breath,
Your heart beat,
Your arms around me like there was no one else you wanted.
Do you recall the forbidden love we shared?
Parked a block away from my house,
Kissing,
Like it was us and the world alone,
It was Romeo and Juliet all over again,
God forbid my mother find out since she believed that you were no longer in my life,
Knowing she would kill me if she found out,
Never let me out of her sight again.
Do you recall going out into the city as I snuck out almost every night just so I could see you?
Even though I knew the trouble I could get into with my mother,
But I still risked it,
How when we'd be out with friends,
You'd be walking right next to me,
Our pinkies grazing against each other,
Hoping,
Craving,
Yearning to hold one another's hand,
But not wanting anyone to know.
Do you recall how you held me and loved me?
How you made me feel like there was nothing more I could ask for.
Do you recall how you made my heart?
So full,
So happy.
Do you recall waiting with me until I felt ready to give you my love?
Slowly teaching me,
Day by day,
With each kiss,
Each touch,
Letting me become ready,
Comfortable,
Showing me a new type of love,
My first,
Real,
Pleasurable love,
The night after my religious retreat,
After I had confessed my sins,
Kind of contradictory,
You could say.
Do you recall those laughs and giggles and tickles until I was crying for you to stop?
Do you recall the smiles and honey sweet kisses?
Quick ones,
Sloppy ones,
Wet ones,
Messy ones,
Passionate ones,
Loving ones,
Slow,
Dreamy,
Butterflies in your stomach,
Chill sending,
Spine tickling ones,
And it's funny because they're still like that.
Do you recall sneaking me in and out just so we could be together?
Do you recall the love we shared?
The memories we made,
How I closed off my heart from everyone else just to give it to you,
You were everything I wanted and more,
And you are everything I want and more.
But now,
You're gone.
