A Drop in the Sea

Present

It's been 4 years and we are both seeing other people, we keep in touch making small talk and the occasional late night phone calls where I sing you bed. The situation is like Kevin DeGraw where you'd always ask me how I am doing and I would say I am doing just fine. I would lie and say that your not on my mind, but I go out and I sit down with her at a table set for two and I would always have to face the truth that I am not over you.

It's Friday when I got a text from you asking if I was ok as usual, I gave you my standard "I'm ok" then you hit me with a curve ball. I had to read it twice and even tho you wrote an epistle telling me how much you are hurting right now and what he did to you my eyes were just fixated on "can you come over tomorrow? I think I need some company"

It was the worse time and I was in a bad place myself and I know if I came over I would probably be spending the night and likewise there would be no Sun on Sunday because the curtains would still be closed the entire day. I didn't know how to respond and I stared there for what seemed like hours before saying "sure."

I began to think of excuses and a story to tell Jane, she was always the intuitive type, sharp and barely missed a pin drop. I called Daniel right after and of course as my best friend he would do me a solid and cover for me.

Saturday night I came to your house only I told you to get dressed I am not coming inside. You looked puzzled but complied, I was second guessing everything on my way to your house not wanting to appear to take advantage of you in a state of being vulnerable and also because I thought Jane was good to me she didn't deserve it, so drinks it is at my favorite spot. Its been 4 years and still can't control the way I react to you, my toes still curl my body still reacts on its own and I thought it was pathetic, I was pathetic. I am yearning for someone who has clearly moved on and I am just here in a Bro capacity.

You exited the house in the dress you wore on our first date and I was shocked that I even remembered that because I can't even remember Jane's birthday, I always sucked with memory and the specifics. You gracefully walked to car and I was in awe. You bend over tucking your head inside slightly at the window saying "good night stranger" with a smirk. I was nervous! I gulped but cooly replied "goodnight miss melon" we both laughed it was our little inside joke and you opened the door and took your seat on the opposite side.