Forever Is Too Long A Wait

Chapter One

I believe that when we die, it all ends. Everything that once was is gone, and we just stop existing. That's what I wanted the day I died, but no one ever really gets what they want.

It was cold outside the day I decided to do it. It was Mid-November, so I knew the pond in my backyard wouldn't be completely frozen over, I had brought a rope down the night before. I tied it hurriedly to a large rock that I had placed near the water.

I took a shaky breath as I wrapped the ropes around my ankles and tightened them until it hurt. I took one last look up at the beautiful sky. This will be the last time I ever see birds, I thought solemnly. Watching as their wings soared above me.

I smiled as I slowly picked up the hefty rock and held it close to my chest. "What a day to die." My words cracked as they came out of my throat. With one swift jump, I leapt into the deep water, the thin ice cutting my legs as I plunged through.

The bolder slipped through my hands and dragged me below. 1...2...3, I started counting in my head, waiting for things to fade to black so it would all be over. All of this pain I felt would be gone, 9...10...11. My lungs burned. At eleven seconds my lungs were burning. I thought it would take longer.

I opened my eyes to see a blurry sort of darkness, light just barley beamed in above me. I saw a creature occasionally swim past and then, oh so very suddenly the burning ceased, and the light was gone. I felt numb as my eyes squeezed shut, every feeling I had ever had left my body and my mind was blank, I felt a cushion begin to form underneath me. I could hear the distant chirp of birds singing and feeling regained in my mind. The numbness was gone.

I quickly opened my eyes to find I was lying on the ground, staring at the same sky I had been before. I panicked and stood up running to the pond. In the place where I had jumped was a large gaping hole with shattered sections of ice floating at the top. Was it all a dream? I quickly pulled up my pant leg to check for cuts, but there were none. I felt around my body and I was completely dry, not a trace of ever being underwater left on me.

I took another glance at the water and could faintly see the ends of brunette hair reaching up from the depths. An instant feeling of fear flushed my face as I attempted to run into the water.

"Someone come here, quick! There is someone down there! Please, someone help!" With no one hearing my cries I jumped in.

The thought never crossed my mind that it was me in there. I considered it all to be a nightmare, that I had fallen asleep somehow, that someone else had jumped in while I was asleep.

I swam to the body that was lifelessly shifting around and pulled on their arm, or at least attempted to. Every time I would try to move it the more in-place it would stay. I couldn't touch anything, it's almost as if my hands passed right through. I attempted to go further down and untie the ankles but I couldn't. I started screaming, wondering why the hell it wasn't working. It had taken me a moment to realize I had been underwater for more than twenty minutes.

A hot feeling filled my stomach as I came to that conclusion. "I... I can... breathe?" I said aloud, but the murky water muffled it to a dull hum. Suddenly the realization had arrived in my head. I quickly swam to the face of the body.

The hair covering the face floated away. My blood ran cold as I looked into the face of death. My face. Purple and swelled my eyes seemed to bulge out of my body. I screamed and clawed my way out of the tiny pond. I reached the surface, retching. I felt as if I were about to vomit, but nothing came out. I shook and cried on the dead grass below me. "I'm supposed to be dead! Why can't I just be dead?!".

Rising, I ran into town. This couldn't be real.