Still.

Introduction

Hello, friendly readers.

I wanted to talk a little about the inspiration for this book before I dove head on into it. I will go ahead and say that this is really hard for me to write, but I feel it's necessary. I feel it is important for couples who have experienced this tragedy to not feel alone. I feel it is important to normalize the discussion of this topic because, sadly, it happens so much more often than we want to believe. And I know because myself and my husband are one of those couples.

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Finley and Lorelei Casper were once a happily married couple. They fell in love when they were just children and soon their lives started together. All that they wanted was to start a family and grow old with one another. And when they discover they're pregnant, they can barely contain their excitement.

When their daughter is born lifeless after a completely normal pregnancy, Finley and Lorelei's marriage begins to deteriorate and fall apart.

Finn begins to devote more and more time to working to keep his mind off of everything. He wants to try again, but every time he brings it up, Lorelei shuts down.

Lorelei is struggling to find her place in life again. She stops painting. She stops going out with friends. She stops telling Finn that she loves him. She feels every day that passes, her world crumbles just a little bit more.

Lorelei and Finn struggle to regain the love they had for one another while they fight with the demons of the past and try to look for a brighter future.

This story is heartbreaking. It is raw and it is real. Please take caution while reading this. Lorelei and Finley's story will involve: child loss, stillbirth, depression, suicide, heartbreak, grief, and alcohol abuse. But their story will also show growth, hope, new life, togetherness, and purpose.

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The inspiration for this story came from my own real life story.

Back in June of 2017, my now husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first child. We had a completely normal and smooth pregnancy. Our son was born in March of 2018 completely and 100% healthy.

In December of 2018, we found out we were expecting our second child.

In April of 2019, the doctors couldn't detect a heart beat. I miscarried our baby.

I'm not going to go into too much detail about what happened with us because on many levels it's raw and personal and I don't want to share it all with the world just yet. While my baby wasn't stillborn, the thoughts and emotions that Lorelei will experience throughout the story will have been inspired by my own. So please be gentle and thoughtful with your comments and statements throughout the chapters.

I also wanted to say that I'm not sure how frequently I will be writing chapters for this story. As I previously stated, writing this is really hard at times because of how raw and true to me the things I am writing are. So please bare with me and be patient. I am going to try my best to write as frequently as I am able.