Boy X boy-I Luv U 3000♥️ (editing)

Chap 9-Heartbeat

"Hope lies in dreams, in imagination,

and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality."

– Jonas Salk

[Third person POV]

Pedestrians are scarce on winter nights. Occasionally a car passes by, and the trees stand quietly. What a sad night. What a peaceful and harmonious night, the sparse stars in the sky blinked and looked at all of this, he has disappeared at this time, in this wonderful night.

Can is wandering aimlessly on the streets. The alcohol made his thoughts all messed up and gave him a sense of infinite power hollering inside his body. His anger towards Tin just screwed up his mood for this night. He couldn't stand the fact that he was probably the only one who suffered from their meeting after all those miserable years.

"This asshole...I wished he had died during the war with his fucking air of arrogance..."

Moonlight is so cold, the trembling feeling is like gravel, gently hitting the bottom of his heart like a pool of gentle lake water, gently rippling, reflecting the little memories of the past. Especially on this cold winter night, his secretive love for the boy who saved him in the past is fading away. Can looks up in the sky, wishing that God could give him a hint. He is not religious, but in a situation like that where all his strengths were taking by Tin, he craved redemption.

"Then, is that it? What have I been doing in all those years...Oh god-"

Without awareness of the road or the rain, a car moved over the highway, lights on full beam. Can watches how the yellowed yet bright light played in the droplets, showing this deluge, this flood from the sky, in apparently solitary drops. Once upon a time, he would have been imagining a lovely date with Tin, the sweetness of love that he always wanted to experience. It would be his time to let his brain roam free and his heart filled with happiness.

The walk continues aimlessly, and without any conscience, Can is in the middle of the streets. The droplets of the rain take his tears with them, making him feel more pathetic all of sudden. And then, he just stood there like a soldier in the tranch seeing the God of Death walking slowly towards him. His legs are numb for walking and his body is frozen from the cold breeze of this rainy night. He feels invincible. He feels nothing. He feels sleepy.

[Tin's POV]

The more I think, the more it doesn't make sense. I clearly have no memories of encountering Mr. Can in the past. Then, why would I feel uneasy in the past few days? This aching heart of mine, what is it? Is it guilt? Arg, it can't be possible. Whatever, I already make it clear to him that all we have is a business-like relationship. Nothing less, nothing more. I don't want to be closer to him, it's useless. I am a snipper, a formal gang member, a danger to everyone. It is probably better if I keep my distance from him. We have nothing in common and we live in two completely different worlds. He has a bright future and by marrying my sister, the two biggest families in this city will be kins. If I get close to him, I will ruin everything since all I can offer to him is harm. There is like an inner voice in my head, talking nonstop about all the bad consequences of me being close to Can. I can't stop it. It just keeps going.

It drives me crazy.

I need to stop overthinking. Since I have finished serving in the army, I kept having nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night covering with cold sweat. Fortunately, it gradually decreased with the help of Vee. I hope it won't restart...

It is currently 2 AM in the morning, everybody is asleep dreaming about a better future. This night, I just suddenly feel the need of taking a rest from all the chaos that is happening around me. The gangsters' fight, the political conflict, the aching heart. I have been driving for two hours and by watching the trees passing by quickly, my mood becomes better. It's like watching my own life going past me in a merciless manner. It moves without hesitation and without feeling. Nothing can hold him back. Nothing can prevent him from moving forward. Everything bows down to him. This is life, a reality that I often forget when I am all caught up in the past with those bombing sounds and the cries of the desperate men: the war in Russia.

The doctor said that the nightmares are the result of PTSD. I mean, what a joke. How could I been a sniper if I have PTSD? Vee would never accept me in his gang if he knew that I have a mental disorder. Many think that killing is evil but I think sometimes killing is a sort of kindness.

We might be bad, but if we are not , who would make the world a better place? The fucking laws don't do a damn thing. It makes people lazy, drwoing in a fake security, an illusion. We do the bad dirty work, and the politicians shines in public; they are loveble because they are clean. The funniest things.

[Third person POV]

The lonely car continues to move through the cold rain and it suddenly stops because someone is standing right in the middle of the road.

Tin garbs his guns and he feels extremely alarmes since it can be another attack of his ennemis.

"Stop moving or my bullet is gonna crash your freaking skull."

That person turns his head to Tin and he walked slowly toward Tin. Then he collapsed. Even though Tin is pretty far from his mysterious man, the smell of alcohol makes him frowns his eyebrows.

"What the- Just how much did he even drink? The teenagers of these days....Argh, I'm done with them."

He wants to leave the dunked boy there, but it's still raining, and before his mind finally makes a decision, he is already besides that person.

Suddenly, a sense of familiarity rushes through his head. It is Can and he is burning up.

"Wait a damn second..."

Be continued

(The end is somehow really rushed but I just want to publish this chapter that has been in my draft for so long 🤣🙊🤌)