Kitten, please. (Sequel to kitten)

8- Feathers

[Authors pov]

When Namjoon woke up, he didn't move.
He could move, but as if he was frozen, he didn't move.

He simply stared at the white ceiling above him, his arms spread out.

He just did nothing. He could see the ceiling, he could touch the soft matieral that was his blanket and he could also feel the small stuffed toy in his arms. He could smell something distinctive, but he couldn't exactly put a name on it, he assumed it was just  a candle lighting some where in the room.

He smacked his lips together, his tongue gliding over them as he gulped from thirst.

It was like he had zoned out, just simply staring at a blank space, waiting for the moment of realization to hit.

He could remember last night, how he had hit his head and how all of his boyfriends were so shocked that he said their names.

However, he then remembered what happened before that.
He had told them about his skirts and cute tshirts and he honestly wanted to scream as the memory came back into mind, but he didn't, he stayed quiet.

It wasn't a bad thing, as from what he could remember, none of them had a bad reaction and Hoseok even bought him loads of new items.

What really bothered Namjoon though was that although the memory was there, he could not remember being there and talking about it. Almost as if he was remembering someone else's memories of just simply listening to a story.

Namjoon thought and thought, wanting and waiting for things to fall into place because he felt a bit muddled. As if he was doing a puzzle but had placed something in the wrong area.

His hand was unconsciously traveling around his body, but it froze when it reached his chest.

Namjoon blinked in shock, tearing his eyes away from the ceiling as he felt something along his chest.

He stayed silent for a minute or two before getting out of bed and standing in front of his mirror.

He pulled his tshirt off, revealing the scar that was on his chest from the surgery.

Once again, Namjoon was confused. He could remember the hospital, how he was sick, how he was dying. He could remember the six men he loved bursting into the room as his eyes shut.
He could remember saying I love you, but then? It was blank.

His eyes widened as his hand touched the scar, and as he felt it he gasped, moving back from the mirror, falling onto the ground, ignoring the sharp pain on his elbow, he scrambled himself together before bursting out of the room, gasping heavily, frightening Hoseok as he stepped out of the bathroom beside Namjoons room.

"Namjoon? Are you okay?" Hoseok asked, as he grabbed Namjoon gently by the hand, bringing him back into the bedroom and sitting him on the bed.

Meanwhile, Namjoon was freaking out. His eyes were glancing everywhere, his head pounding. He was sweating even though he hadn't done anything.
He felt like he couldn't breathe as he clinged onto Hoseok.

"Hey, Namjoon, breathe, good boy. Big breaths" Hoseok said, trying to calm Namjoon down but not really knowing what to do.

"Joonie, what's wrong?" Hoseok asked, as he played with Namjoons hair, something he had figured out that Namjoon liked after the previous night.

"Hyung" Namjoon muttered, his breathing sounding shaky.

His hands kept shaking, even as Hoseok held them and placed gentle kisses.

As much as Namjoon wanted to calm down , and as much as he wanted to curl into Hoseok and listen to Hoseoks sweet voice , he couldn't.
His mind was overworking , panicking , as if it were about to burst.
Memories came flooding back but it didn't make any sense because Namjoon was supposed to be dead.