Nkosazane yomzulu: my journey

02

Chapter 2

Phawulothando's POV

I got inside the school and went to this large open space where I saw learners gathered around. I was actually rushing because I saw some teachers heading to the assembly area , I assume. I bump into a girl nearly causing her to fall

Me: Hey , sorry for bumping into you I was rushing to the assembly area
Girl: look where you are going wena mxm! (Rudely ) she undermines me and leaves me standing there.

Wow way to go Phawulothando Zulu , its my first day here and Im already making enemies, I wonder how I will even make friends. I rush to assembly , looking carefully this time. The principal delivers this long speech since its the first day of a new year. A teacher came and took us to our new classes , I was in grade 8A and my teacher was Miss Khumalo . Miss Khumalo is friendly and kind , I adored her from the first word she said.

We all introduced ourselves, people were fascinated at my name , they always are because its unusual. Lessons carried on for the day and I found myself settling in and enjoying myself . I even made a friend in class and we share a desk . Her name is Samkelisiwe Ngcobo. Soon it was break , I chilled with Samke

Samke: Why aren't you coming to get lunch?
Me: Im sorry I'm not used to this , at my old school we didn't do this
Samke : I don't mind showing you , I have always known this school because all my older siblings were here . Let me give you a tour but first we have to get lunch
Me: Thank you lets get to it then

We went around and stood in the line , people were looking at me because I was new and it was so awkward. Okay I know I'm pretty and all but really guys !!!okay well Im joking but on a serious note all the stares just made me uncomfortable. We finally got our lunch ( rice and fish) and we sat down and ate . I enjoyed my meal and I was glad that I ate a decent meal because at home we have really limited food. Samke took me on the promised tour and I now knew exactly where everything was .Hopefully I won't get lost . We saw the girl I bumped into and her squad

Girl : So the newbie got herself a friend, How amazing, hopefully she will now stop bumping into people
Samke : If I can remember well we are all new here , we are in grade 8 . Highlight that and leave us the hell alone .
Girl:Aike wena Samke, we are new here but we know each other from around . She is new we don't know her
Samke : Yes she is and you guys don't need to know her.
Me: Samke leave her alone , this is not worth our time . Im sorry once again for bumping into you accidentally. I didn't know that it has now made me your enemy, Samke lets just go
Samke : Yeah she aint worth it
Girl : whatever nerds .( her squad laughs )
We just leave her and spend the rest of break together
Me: so you don't have other friends?
Samke: They all went to different high schools and I had to come here because its closer to home

The bell rings and we head back to class , the day goes by fast and then its time to go home . Samke and I walk home together , she actually lives two houses away from me and I didn't see her before because she went to visit her family when we arrived.

I fetch Nkanyezi from the creche and get home to find Thandiwe and the twins already preparing food. I quickly change we do our chores and spend the afternoon laughing and talking about our day , it seems as though Sthembiso and Thandiwe are settling in well , Im sure Sthembele will settle in too but at the moment he’s busy acting like a spoilt brat. Samke calls me and we go to the tap to fetch water . I enjoy having her as my neighbour and friend , she’s amazing and we get along well . We have so much in common even though I have only known her for a day .

After that it gets late and we eat together and tell our parents about our day. I am closer to my father than mom , I have always been daddy's  little girl . Mom used to be too focused on spending dads money to actually bond with us , but I love her regardless.

Mom: I have an announcement to make
Dad:whats happening now ? We all look up and listen
Mom: Ill be moving to town , my boss asked me to become a stay-in-nanny.
Dad: what kind of wife are you ? You have children and you have to take care of them .you have wifely duties but you have never done them , here I was thinking that moving here will make you change but no you just choose to abandon your family to live a glorious life in town . Youll be living the rich life while we are drowning in poverty
Mom:Well my mind is made up .Im sorry if you are disappointed, I guess I wasnt made for this life . Let me go pack my bags Im leaving tomorrow. I will visit at the end of the month if I can , I will send money If I can but you know that I have to take care of myself so don’t expect much . Phawulothando umdala manje (you're grown now) you’ll take care of your siblings well I know

Me: Mom please don't do this , Im still a teenager Im not ready for such a responsibility
Thandiwe: Let her go Phawu , she doesn't love us vele . She will go and she won't come back . In Cape Town she used to be too  busy spending dads money that she didn't even notice us living with her .Now she will spend her own salary alone and she wont come back or notice us . She doesn't even know our favourite colours or favourite food . Only dad loves us
Sthembele : Mom please don't leave us , we still need you in order to overcome this poverty
Sthembiso : Mommy don't go please
Dad : Look your children are begging you to stay but you are just staring at them saying nothing
Mom: Wena Thandiwe I won't entertain you , you boys just grow up .I SAID I'LL VISIT HAWU
and wena Phawulothando , grow up and start being responsible

She gets up and heads to her room to pack her clothes . Nkanyezi starts crying but Mom practically ignores her , Thandiwe takes her and they go to sleep .The boys also go to sleep. Trust mom to dampen all our moods , now everyone is either sad or angry. I wash the dishes with a lot of thoughts, yes I know my mom has never took much care for me .She always thought money could buy love and she hired staff instead of taking care of us .

I really get it that she has no time for us but I thought somewhere deep in her she loves us . But today she has proven that she doesn't, she is abandoning us , my own mother is leaving all of us at a time where we need her the most. I feel some tears as I hear my dad argue with mom , my dad is such a good person but mom always takes advantage. I go to bed heartbroken and sad , who will be there when I have my first period?

Who will be there when I have my first boyfriend or kiss if my mom leaves me ?Who will be there when I have my first heartbreak? No no no guys I still need my mom , she has to take care of us .The twins need her even Thandiwe does, who deserves to have their mother taken away from them at a young age .No one does.

I somehow fall asleep, still crying, broken and tortured at heart…