People have asked me what my biggest fear is in life. I used to answer death, like most people living on this planet. Lately I have been thinking and I came to the conclusion that I'm not that afraid to die. What does scare me is life. Being here has so many consequences. I grew up in a stable family, I made a lot of friends I have a lot of other family living across the country. When you are alive, you actually affect other people's lives more than you think. When I'm upset, people notice. When I fail a class, I have to explain why. When I lay in bed all day, my family will be concerned. I'm only 17, but those responsibilities are a lot. Let alone when I grow up, I should find a significant other, maybe I should have kids. I have to find a good job, because 'I'm so smart'. And now the worst part. There is no fucking way out of here. If I die, whether it is sucide, homicide or an accident, people will cry. Their lives won't be the same. So what am I supposed to do? I don't even know at this point. It scares me that there is no way out. As soon as you got on this planet, you are stuck in this trap. It's almost like the catch-22. And that's why I am afraid of living.
