Written By: ▪︎☆°•_Ash-Potato_, _adrilia_,Viola_halogen and FandomsUnite05, LoveStampy05•°☆▪︎
Edited By: ○°●¤_Ash-Potato_¤•°○
Dax: my names Dax with a B and I have been afraid of insects my entire-
Blizzard: woah woah woah wait, where's the B?:
Dax: tHeRe's a bEe??
Ultra: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Ash: You're a hazard to society.
Azael: And a coward. Do twenty.
Viola, rolling around on the floor: name one thing better than a cat
Ash, also rolling on the floor: two cats
Azael: I've done a lot of stupid stuff
Athena: I've witnessed a lot of dumb stuff
Dusk: I've recorded the dumb stuff
Biff: I've joined you in the dumb stuff
Sky: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF
Athena: HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE!
Athena, aggressively throws water bottles:
Cloud: uh...
Kittie: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
Athena: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Adri, crying: It's working.
Sky: How do Ash and Crystal get out of these messes, you ask?
Sky: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels out the other one.
CST/EST people: So how sleep deprived were we at the beginning of the server's release?
BST people: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.
Azael: Suffer.
Wuluf: Sure.
Someone: OwO
Someone else: UwU
The entire server: UWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU
Viola: What should I name my cat
Ultra: Name it John!
The entire server: JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN-!
#JOHNCULT
Sky: Can you pass me the pepper?
Azael: Son, I must teach you manners, what's the magic word?
Sky:
Sky, starts chanting satanic rituals:
Azael, panicking: jUst tAkE tHe dAmn pEppEr
Ultra: You can say "Have a nice day" without a problem
Ultra: But you can't say "Enjoy your next 24 hours" without sounding vaguely threatening.
Rain: How did you get into my base?
Crystal: I'm a confident driver
Ice: But you almost ran over Cassidy-
Crystal: I did it with confidence though
Biff: Have you ever wondered why candles burn you, but you can't burn candles?
Espy: Uh, no?
Biff: Its because candles are hot
Biff: And you aren't
Espy: Did you just call me ugly-
Sky: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
Erica: I'm calling Dad (Azael)
Sky: wait nO-
Athena: I need you to swear-
Adri: F*CK-
Athena:
Athena: I meant like promise but okay-
Someone: i'd die for you
Viola: then perish
Biff: you will
Fandome: please don't
Dusk: cool
Adri: i'd die for you first
BlizzardVeteran: So what's it like sharing a village with Adri?
Kittie: Once I asked her for a glass of water while she was mad at me and she brought me a glass of ice and said "wait".
Sky: Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.
Azael, used to Sky's shit: Okay
Sky: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed
Azael: Mhm
Sky: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
Azael:
Sky: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions
Azael, crying: Please stop
Darky, intrigued: No, continue
Sky: The closest way to a person's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs
Everyone else, slowly clapping:
Azael, after falling into the same desert temple and dying twice, landing in spawn twice 2000 blocks away: There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language but I could never string enough words to properly describe how much I want to throw my f*cking mouse across the room
Espy, holding a pot of coffee and a cereal bowl: what if instead of milk in my cereal I put in coffee?
Alex, walking past her and taking away the coffee pot: what if you didn't?
Ash: Tell the world we're bros
Crystal: We're bros
Ash: Why'd you tell me that
Crystal: Because you're my world bro
Ash: Bro
Ice: dammit, the power went out
Radiant: don't worry, I got this
Radiant shakes rapidly and starts to illuminate:
IceSteve: w h a t-
Radiant: I swallowed a lantern. I'm literally radiant now.
Ice, on the verge of cardiac arrest: WHY WOULD YOU-
Kidnapper: We've got your Dad-
Wuluf: Dad- who-?
Kidnapper: brown hair- blue eyes- dude who thought we were taking them to a surprise birthday party?
Wuluf: OH MY GOD THEY HAVE AZAEL-
Ash: I'm going to the shopping district, want anything?
Viola: I want the constant lag to stop.
Ash: Yeah, uh- I got like twelve diamonds.
Espy: *points ruler at Erica*
Espy: At the other end of this ruler is an idiot
Erica: Which end?
Espy:
Espy: Why did I even try-
Lucy: Where are we going?
Sky: To go get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.
Azael: In the end, we're all human beans
Adri: And together, we will rice
Biff: Lettuce Pray
Erica: Ramen
Athena, nearly in tears: That was beautiful!
Viola:
Viola: What the heck did I just witness?
Fandome: Alright Ash, it's your turn to tell us a secret
Ash: Well... I may have a crush on Crystal...
Espy: We said secret dude.
Ultra, out of nowhere: The floor is hating Espy!
Erica, latches onto the ceiling:
Espy, faceplants onto the floor:
Everyone else simultaneously: ESPY NO-
Cloud: If you will charge me to answer my questions, how much will you charge me?
Erica: Hmm, I'd say 100 diamonds.
Cloud: Okay...
Erica: So what's the second question?
Cloud:
Cloud: eXcUse mE?
Azael: *pushes on a door that clearly says pull*
Biff, filming this: Just push harder-
Blizzard: , you think every round fruit is an apple
Ultra: No I don't
Blizzard: *holds up sweet berries* What's this?
Ultra: Tiny apples
Blizzard: *points at a snow golems head* And what are these?
Ultra: .... Halloween apples
Athena: 80% sarcasm, 10% exhaustion, 20% don't care
Eteriiii: That's 110% though?
Athena: 20% don't care.
Eteriiii: I- Should've seen that one coming.
Sky: Did you hear about the lasagna who died?
Azael: Wha-no
Sky: It pasta away
Azael:
Azael: I hope you pasta away
Sky: ;-;
Viola, raising her voice slightly so she can speak to Biff down at the other end of the grocery store aisle: Do you want any chips?
Biff, screaming: IM ALWAYS A S**T FOR DORITOS!!!
Crystal: Ash, wake up!
Ash: *grumbles* what
Crystal: When butterflies get nervous, do they feel humans in their stomachs?
Ash:
Ash: What the f-
Fandome: What'll make you feel better? Do you want a cookie?
Kittie: *shrugs*
Fandome, gasping: Two cookies?
CakesDontLie: I made mushroom soup
Espy: I don't want mushroom soup
CakesDontLie: I didn't make it for you, this is mine
Espy: And why are you telling me this?
CakesDontLie: It's a good conversation starter
Espy: that's a lousy conversation starter
CakesDontLie: But you see, we're conversing right now, checkmate
