Sufna

nasli

Sometimes you carry the wrong name

It was never meant to be yours

Your character deserves a different title

A different soul

The name was not yours to carry

For every name requires a soul

It requires a jisme

A jisme which can uplift the name

A jisme which can define the name

A jisme which can reflect its true meaning

Abdullah was named by his father just like he named his brother Youssef. Akbar realized the name has a great impact on the character of the person for he was named Akbar by his father and was a true reflector of its meaning. The two names which are the most superior to the creator of the seven universes are Abdullah and Abd-ur-Rehman; it was on this that his father named him. He wanted to name his other son Abd-ur-Rehman but on Dolat's insistence he was named Youssef. Both husband and wife had faith for the two names will bring good in the characters, will bring in the character what Allah demands, what the creator desires. The name is not enough for it is Allah who is to decide what his creation will act like, how his people will behave and in what manner they will live their lives but still name has an effect, an effect which can guide the soul or ruin. Abdullah discerned the fact of his name but was also absorbed in the light, a light which is finite and is going to die one day, misleading light of the world. He saw his brother who was contrary to him, who behaved otherwise just like the name but was never influenced, was never convinced for there were things which persuaded to him more, which put his heart to ease than any other thing. He saw no clear reason to be like his brother. It was the final year, final periods getting started up; all the things were moving hastily, all the things in his life were now in motion. From the feeling of being institutionalized to the wait of leaving it as soon as possible for the greater things were waiting, all emotions were there. It was the time to leave the institution, leave the gates for there was an outer world alive and waiting for him, waiting for him to live his live according to what has been written by the almighty, what has been written by the creator of heavens and hell. The feeling of leaving something for which he has much affinity developed now was hurting. He didn't want to leave it sooner, to get away from its gates for it was the only source for him to get closer to her but the contrary feelings also started to appear for his bad past was also there. He had no fear of her or any fear regarding her for he knew now what exactly to do. All he had to do was to stay away from her sight. She was not as she used to be, she was all changed or she was the same but he was the one who was changed. It has not been long since they two met for the last time Abdullah went to Sargodha she was there waiting for him. She was there waiting as she always did setting aside her priorities for someone who has been affected by someone else's beauty as he was once been affected by her. He detested the last time he saw her, hated every moment of it, regretted the time which brought her closer. He has affection now for someone who he thinks is far better than himself, better than his last choice and the best which the universe can ever provide him with. Youssef who like his brother found his way to the same city, to the same place which attracts many others. He was now preaching, telling the creation about the one who is far better than any other thing. He was satisfied with his life and unlike his brother had no worldly attractions misleading him. He started getting attraction at different places, the places which called him for the enlightenment. Abdullah didn't like Youssef for he would always have to something to say about his life. After a while it stopped, Youssef stopped it for every time it happened they would have a fight. Both started living together, Abdullah had to leave his best friends who in reality were dearer to him than his brother, started living in an apartment which was enough for two people. It was all getting dry, his life out of the university which was not more than an unemployed life and in it was his brother though it was not long till he left for he got a way to work in Saudi Arabia which he always preferred. He would teach there people about Quran and Sunnah and the people who came there from all around the world but there was still time till he goes there and that time was insufferable for Abdullah, who was already tangled up in a mist of thoughts of Fajr. No matter how hard he tried to encounter Fajr there was something which would happen. There were times when he engaged her in a conversation but there was always fear. There were also the times when he mustered enough courage to talk to her and the circumstances were favourable but then appeared the factors provided by his fate. He wanted to ask her out which was basically Sudais's idea but it never happened also for he was afraid of rejection. Upon everything failing it was finally good fortune which paved a way. It was a lecture in the university's main hall for those who have just left the institution mostly which dragged a couple people. The scarcity of the amount present to attend the event was due to the nature of the lecture for it was religion. Nobody detested it but they didn't like it either. Nobody wanted to express their lack of affinity towards it but it was there lying inside. For some reason the blame could be given to the culture in the first place. It was not the distractions of the modern world taking the mass away from religion but the problem was at the very bottom, it was at the very beginning. The whole thing to begin was initiated at the wrong time by the wrong people and in the wrong circumstances. It was not something which initiated in the modern era but it was there in the beginning at the time it was encircling mass in this region, the region who now call themselves the claimer of Tauheed*. Abdullah didn't want to attend it but it was Khushal who dragged him and Sudais to it. It was an empty hall with people occupying the front seats. In those seats Abdullah quickly identified the pony tail brown at the very end. He recognized it for it was there revolving in his mind for quite a long time. With time he also developed a habit of always looking for her, it was like he was cursed with her, damned to look for her for eternity. Wherever, he'll go he tried to find her, hoping for her, wishing for her. He didn't like it for he was getting stressed about it; he was not himself doing it all but it was like his soul was under the effect of someone, under the spell of someone. Discerning the opportunity provided by the universe he didn't waste any more time being shy but did what any other person in his shoes would do.