When I was younger I was sexually assaulted by my older brother. I was 10 years old, as far as I know I could have been younger. I'm now 19 years old. I've noticed that In the past few days I been believing that it was my fault. That I should have done something different then trust a teacher that's I thought who wouldn't say anything but I was a stupid freshman when I knew nothing. I barely knew how to switch classes I was that stupid. It I trusted a teacher. I just called out for help my parents didn't do anything they were spilt apart. I believe that my dad was my best friend. But when I said something to the teacher he stopped and blamed me. That's when everything changed I was calling out for help. But my brother went to jail and everyone forgot me. That's when I stopped caring about anything I stopped going to school. I became a drug abusing pot. There was pills. I became a nicotine addict. That's when I started talking to older guys I was 15 at that time. Older as in (18-45) it's seems gross but I had a daddy issues. I had a few sugar daddy's I got a few hundred dollars. My best friend Shelby that was like shit 12 she had the same issue. Both our fathers passed always, both of our family stopped caring , we both were the disappointments in the family. That's how our life's were, we're still best friends to this day. I sure do love her. It's her and him. Him he's Ryan my best friend. I sure do miss him my boyfriend to this day doesn't like Ryan. But he's was my other drug friend. He's 18 now. Then I have my boyfriend he's 20 years old. His name is nate. He's been in my life since like I was 15. Were toxic tbh. But I blame myself for a lot of things. That's just how it is.💔
