Maybe we're not okay | Byler

1. Don't Come Back

Trigger warning: F slur, yelling

It hurts. Knowing he'll never love you. Knowing that he's only going to drift away again. It hurts to know that he's never really cared about you.
  "Go away, Go away! I don't want you to stay!" He says, breaking me down.
"Mike, please.." I couldn't finish before he screamed again.
"GO AWAY!" His voice boomed through the room rattling me to my bones.
"Why don't you care anymore? I thought we were friends! What did I do to you?!" I tried to yell  at him but I only mastered a whisper. He'd started being such an ass to me. I never did anything to him. Why did he have to do this to me? "All I've ever done is care about you! You just want to spend your time hooked on some girl, what about everyone else?!" My voice cracked endlessly as I held back my stinging tears.
"Everything can't be about you! You're so selfish Will! I have other things to care about! Just grow up already!" Mike's voice was loud enough that the glasses up stairs could shatter at the loud screams. My tears were stubborn forcing their way out of my eyes, but I wiped them not wanting Mike to see me cry.
"Well I'm sorry! I thought that after everything you would at least  give me the time of day! It hurts Mike! You were my best friend!" I was finally able to get something more than a whisper out. Thoughts flooded my head drowning me, causing me to gasp for air only to take in the water. He doesn't love you. Let it go. My thoughts were interrupted by Mike's booming voice again, somehow even louder than before.
"You're not the only person in my life! You act like I'm such a horrible person! I'm not! I've never done anything to you! You make me seem like the bad guy! You're the horrible person Will! You think no one will see it?! We do! We fucking see right through you!" Mike's words shot through me. It felt like a bullet straight to my heart. Scanning his face I searched for any sign of regret, remorse, or even just a sign that this was all a lie. Am I really a bad person? God I am aren't I?! Why did they save me? I don't deserve to be here. The tears tried to make their way out again. I tried to speak but for a moment I was stunned by the pain his words made me feel.
"Now I know what you think of me! You think I'm the worst person you've ever seen! Right?! I never did anything to you! YOU'RE the one who started screaming at me!" I finally screamed back at him. I felt my heart sinking into my stomach as the tears still pushed through. Mike seemed shocked for a split second before regaining his composure.
"I heard every mean thing they've ever said about you. You know what it's all fucking true! You're a shit person! You're a freak! YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT TOO! None of us want to be friends with you anymore! Why don't you just do us all a favor and disappear again?!" I don't think I'd felt heartbreak until this. I felt like my heart shattered, scattering and falling down into a million pieces. "Just GO AWAY! And don't fucking come back this time!" Then stubborn tears spilled out of my eyes in a heavy stream.
"Fine!" I could barely speak between my already heavy sobs. I had felt a hand be placed on my shoulder, but I knew it wasn't Mike. I was brought to the attention of the other people who had entered the room. They were blurry figures barely able to make out, but I knew I needed to leave before I made them hate me more. I didn't know how long they'd been there. I stared at them for a second, as all of this was going incredibly fast. I didn't give them time to yell as well. I stormed out of the house as rivers poured out of my eyes. Ignoring anyone or anything else I saw. I heard the faint yelling of my name, but I Ignored it and got on my bike. If Mike wants me to disappear then that's what I'll do.