The pain of losing it all. ( A bullying story)

top of the class

it has been almost a month! Life is so good mason took me to his church and i really think i like him! only he is super quite. we can work on that.

i walk into class in a new pair of heels and a tutu type skirt i tryed out for the vollyball team and made the A team! Tonights a game and we have to look really spify at school. "Mason!" i yell and start running to catch up as he turns and looks at me " you look nice." he sounds like a little kid and looks so inisant. whitch is really iroanic because hes like 6'2 and reminds me of a teddy bear. I Love Tall Guys. we walk into class mostly me talking we come to sit down. another boring lecture from my least favorite langage arts teacher Mr.Ergen. 

As he talks i start doodling pretending to take notes when i draw a cross with barbwere around it looking like sin. it says why do bad things happen to good people. and i jog down my favorite church song "Beutiful Things" by gungor "All this pain I wonder if I’ll ever find my way I wonder if my life could really change at all All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found Could a garden come up from this ground at all You make beautiful thingsY ou make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us All around Hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You You make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of the du- when he yanks the paper from my hands and laughs silly girl. This is public school you learn about REAL things not your silly myths about a god. I stand up and say in a confident vocie and say"my god is the one and only. you might deny my faith but i will pray for you i am not silly you are just a fool telling me he is not real and when in my life will i need social studies and write poetry? never. thats not real world stuff. i walk over and grab my paper and sing that song on what i wrote down and turned around and cryed he made you out of beutiful things yet you deny him? He sent his one and only son to die for you and yet you say hes nothing? he looks at me and says if hes real i would go to heaven but he sends us all to hell. i look at mason i look at everyone there staring at me when one kid looks up at me and says he has a point." i look at them and say he sent his SON to die for you? yet you deny him and call him out and say hes faulty? No. there is a point grace runs out. He gives you a life time to love him. i turn around and start to walk out the teacher says you will not leave my room and i reply i can not be in the same room as you at this moment and turn he grabs my arm and jerks me around at this point people are standing up staring. suddently  masons there and says loud the most loud ive ever heard him as he says " Let her go" If you deny jesus ill walk too. we walk closer to the door and closer when a kid suddenly pushes me over and yells YOUR GODS FAKE GOD SUCKER! and laughs everyone laughs i start to run mason reaches for me but im gone my heels fly out beneth me and i fall again but im far enough away no one sees me i run to the farthest girls restroom and cry. its happing again. its back i will never escpape the pain of peoples words god will i? i cry and slump downwards the tears are streaming and i cant stop them.

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 ok i know its really churchy but this is really important in my book please bare with me! sorry for my spelling i now im not the bast have a great thanksgiving :)