Philophobia

| chapter 4 |

A week goes by since my infamous track meet. That was also the last time Aaron has spoken to me. I am still debating whether or not he actually wants to hang out with me. It is just so infuriating that I can't get this boy out of my head. You would think after the way he treated me Sophomore year that I would simply ignore his sinister tricks. But, something deep down inside is telling me to give him the benefit of the doubt. I never had the chance to really get to know him for who he is, and people can change in a month, let alone two years.

I wish I could talk to someone about this. Lydia offers her input and she completely supports whatever decision I make, but I usually talk to Ramon about these types of issues too. Ramon would hate to hear me talk about Aaron; he definitely believes that he is one of the biggest players in our school and he hates the way he treats girls. Isn't that hilarious? So many red flags and my brain still wants me to screw myself over!

"Yo, Em! Let me in." My brother, Connor, pounds on my bedroom door and I quickly turn off my classic "Feels" playlist on Spotify.

I open the door, "What do you want?"

He bumps me to the side and lets himself in, shutting the door behind him.

"Want to go to a Memorial Day party with me? Krista is throwing one at her house." He asks and I smile, remembering how long Krista and my brother have been together.

Krista is such a good influence for my brother and has definitely placed him back on track in his life. After he had graduated from high school, my brother got involved with the wrong people and constantly got drunk every day. One night, he had a disagreement with my mom and was embarrassed that he got caught, so he ended up punching a hole in the wall and throwing up everywhere on his bedroom floor. My father was furious, and my sister couldn't believe what was happening. My mother tried her best calming him down, but my brother was very worked up and filled with rage. That was the night he realized he needed to change his life.

Eventually, he reached out to his old high school friends he had been extremely close with and hung out with them instead. That friend group brought Krista and my brother back together; they have been going strong ever since.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. When are you leaving?" I check the time and realize I would need to do my hair and makeup.

"Half an hour work?" He asks and I nod my head yes.

"Great, I'm going to text Krista and see if she needs any alcohol, I have to pick up my whiskey anyways." He winks and runs back to his bedroom.

I take a deep breath and close my bedroom door. Hopefully he doesn't drink too much, I don't want to see him fight with anyone or make a fool out of himself... or of me at that matter. I walk over to my vanity and turn my flat iron on. My hair has gotten so long since I am waiting until after prom to cut it. It takes a while to style it, so I begin my makeup while it heats up.

I change my Spotify playlist to some classic country and begin to sing along. I am excited to see Krista and to just have a fun night with my brother and his friends. I haven't had that many fun weekends since my breakup with Jacob, so it is nice to have something to look forward to. I apply my mascara and I hear my phone buzz. Oh great, this should be good.

Hey, what are you doing tonight? -Aaron

I bite my lip and take a minute to think. I really want to go to this party, but I also want to see Aaron. I am just so afraid that he will want nothing to do with me after he realizes how boring of a person I am. There's not that much to do in this small town and I wouldn't want him to come over to my house because I don't want anyone to know I am interested in Aaron.