this girl... a madnessa story

Chapter 16

Madelaine's pov

it has passed  a week since i talk to nessa. i really really miss her. and i think its time to talk to her again. 

me: hi v, i really miss you. please just let me explain. just one single time, i beg.

me: can you just answer only one time? 

nessa💔: i dont have to know anything. i alredy do.

me: omg baby thank you. yeah you have to. believe me.

nessa💔:  stop calling me like that. get over it. we are fucking done.

me: i am not letting that happen.

nessa💔:  ugh what i have to do for you to stop bothering me??

me: lisen. just lisen. 

nessa💔:  shoot then.

me: i cant nessa, i need to explain in person. 

nessa💔:  damn you are so intense. just come over a minute. you talk and then you get out okay?

me: okay.

after that i go to nessa's house as fast as i could. i knock the door and she yell ''use your keys'' shit. i dont have them. ''i dont have them bab- nessa'' i told her. ''ugh going'' she said. she hate me. she really does.  once she opened the door we both stand for minute seeing directly each other in the eyes, and let e tell you, that we both were looking eachother with heart eyes. even nessa. for a moment she seem that she dont hate me anymore.  ''are you going to pass or you are going to stay there?'' till she said this. ''s-sorry'' i said. for the first time i feel uncomfortable around vanessa. ''well, tell me what you have to and then leave'' she said. she took my wrist to take me to her room, but she let it go fastly. damn, i miss her touches, her soft skin. ''i miss that'' i said wishing she dont get mad. ''you alredy know were is my room so just came in'' she told me.  when we arrive to her room, she sat down on her bed looking at me, and i just stand by the door. 

''so, as you say, i am here to explain you and leave if you dont want me here, so i would do as fast as i can.'' i really dont want to bother her, this will make her hate me more, and i dont want to.

''ok, so i know that you think that i used you just to forget travis, or just because i miss fucking someone, or because any other reason but let me tell you that its false. first of all i want to tell you nessa, that you made me the happiest person in the world while we were together. every single moment with you is perfect. our first date, in which you ask me to be your gf, in the audition where we first meet, in the trailer at work, in the shower, in every single moment you made me happy. you make me understand that i dont have to care about what other people think about my body, and that i am perfect just the way i am. i loved and i love you vanessa, and i always will. probably  you dont fucking care all what i just say, so now i am going to the poin.

probably you are asking why i do what i do. and i dont really have an answer. i just fuck up in the moment. i saw travis and i remember in all the ways that he hurt me. mentaly, fisicall-''

''wait what? he hit you?'' she ask.

'' dont worry about that now, just let me finish. i was seing, that he hurt me like shit, and all i wanted in the moment is for him to be jelaouse. or just feel a little of the pain that i used to feel everyday. and i know that it wasnt the correct way. but as i told you i fucked up at the moment. i never ever wanted you to think that i used to. just let me know what i have to do to make it up to you, or jut for you just to stop thinking that i just used you to fuck you or something like that. and i'll understand if you dont want anything else with me ever. i love you, nessa, and i always will. i-i think thats all, i am leaving now'' i said sobbing. after that i turn around and i start walking outside the room. 

''wait'' i heard nessa say as she grab my hand. my heart skip a beat. ''i-i think we c-can get through this, just dont leavse..... please. i really miss u to'' she said. for a moment i thought that she was doing it on purpose, but then i saw her eyes and that make me realize that she was talking for real. 

''of course i will stay bab- nessa'' i told her. shit. i alredy was about to fuck up things again. 

''lisen. we will do this. for me to trust you again, you need to probe it. this would be a week an a half  prove okay?'' she said.

'' omg are you for real? of cours beauty, just tell me waht i have to do to get my baby back'' i said as i wrapp my arms around her neck.

''wow wow wow, not so fast girl'' she said. shit. i alredy fucked up.

''oh, i'm sorry'' i said as i took out my arms from around her neck. 

''first, a week and a half without kisses ok? just in the cheeck. that will prove if you love me just for my body, or if you care about the inside too. second, i know that maybe is strange but, explain me why you are always horny tho. and third why the you never told me about travis? what did he do to you?'' she said. shit. i really care about the inside. but i fucking miss so so much those lips. 

''well, first of all, i will make my best not to kiss you, but its going to be diffuclt because damn, those kisses of yours get me crazy. um second, i am always kinda horny cause you are so fucking beautiful and you turn me on so much, its just that, its not that i am horny with everyone. and i really care about your inside too, i love you because i know that you have such a bug heart, and that you are an incredible person,and i know it from the moment that you wait for me when i finished the audition remember?? you dont even know me at that time, but yu wait for me and you worry about me. and about the travis thing...... well i never told anyone that he used to hit me. not even my best friend so yeah'' i said.

''aw ur so sweet, but why dont you tell anyone about that?'' i said.

''because i was really afraid that people think that i used to lie. and that people wouldnt believe me. so i just prefer to stay in silence.'' i told her while i play with my hands. she took my chin and lift it up. 

'' look at me mads, and promise me that you would never ever, be in silence again'' she told me. 

'' i promise'' i told her. 

''ok so now come here and cuddle with me. i missed you lots my lo- mads'' she told me. she was about to call me my love?

''say it'' i told her.

''say what?'' she told me.

'' tell me i am yours, your love'' i told her.

''madelaine grobbelaar petsch, you are mine and only mine. for the rest of your life'' she told me. my heart melted. 

''of course i am, and i always will.'' i said. i was about to lean over to her till i remember that i cannot kiss her for a week and a half. shit. 

''um, sorry'' i told her.

''no problem princess'' she told me.

'' can we just make this shorter. can it only be a week please? i really miss those lips'' i told her and she let out a gigle. 

''i'll think about it'' she say and she put her finger on her chin and look up,  making a thinking face. 

''ugh you are too cute, i love you'' i said. 

'' and i love you more'' she said.

SOOO GUYSSS thats todays chapterr. hope u like it! thanks for reading and sorry for speeling mistakes. love u all 

xoxo