Broken Lines |✔|

7.

In a week I turn 17. I feel the uneasy edge coming over me. There is a battle taking place in my mind as I struggle to keep up with the overwhelming senses that are occurring.

The instructors know that my date of birth is this week. They and the leader both watch me carefully.

If it happens correctly, then I accept the soul of the wolf the day of.

I am restless. On edge. There is a violence in me that is not from my own body, but from the mind of an animal.

The soul of my wolf was coming slowly, and it didn't like the body it was becoming a part of.

"You need to breathe. Take deep breaths. Control yourself. You have gained control over your body but your mind is weak."

The leader's words only cause me to flare up. He laughs at my reaction, his hand reaching to pat the top of my head. I hit his hand away, hating how easily he thought he could touch me now.

They make me sit alone for hours, thinking through my thoughts. I feel the fight in my mind. I can feel the presence of something else pushing against my thoughts, wanting to come in. Was it me? They had talked for years of the body and conditioning it, but this was the first I had ever heard of the mind and being able to accept it through that.

Anger surges through me that maybe he knew. Maybe the leader knew and that was why he had allowed me to go through this hell all these years. Why he taunted me saying it was not possible to kill him. Because he saw my mind and the weakness he had created there, and in this past year of training he had done his best to expand that weakness and prey upon it.

I close my eyes, going face to face with whatever the presence was that was fighting to gain access.

I'm a violent creature, I whispered to it, the world made me this way. I became this way. My goal is to kill. I want to kill. If you can't handle that and if you can't become a part of my goal, then I don't need you. I'll find another way.

The soul stops. I don't think I've ever heard of the strategy of talking and coaxing. Usually, what was told was that you accepted it and became one, but looking at what was before me, I knew that would be hard to manage. Not unless I tried in my own way.

I snarled in its presence. I showed my own claw and fangs. I lashed out and the soul fought back, striking against my mind and demanding to be let in. I continued to battle. Continued to fight and fight until finally I was staring at something just as angry and tormented as myself.

I laugh out loud and open my eyes.

The leader is staring down at me, something close to alarm and delight mixing in his gaze.

"What are you doing?"

I look angrily up at him. He bends down, letting us become face to face.

"You shouldn't do that," he whispers, "you shouldn't create a monster out of something that already is a danger."

"You should take your own words to heart," I spit, "you should have realized that truth when you first saw me."

His eyes grow wild as he grins. He leans towards me and I move away. He always was attempting this- skin to skin. I was always pushing back, glaring at him for trying to use or undermine me.

"You know what will happen when I take the soul?"

He only continues to smile at me, nodding.

"I'm going to kill you."