Saying Goodbye

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It was the night of the rumble and everyone in the gang was excited well not everyone.

Dally was still recovering from his burn, and Johnny was looking worse every day.

Two-bit told me that he would keep my secret for me and for that I am thankful.

I have been visiting Johnny every single day.

The nurses have to tell me to go back to my room, but sometimes they let me stay for an hour or two.

Every time I come close to telling Johnny my secret, I get nervous and shut all of it down.

Dally has tried visiting me a few times, but I tell the doctors I don't want to see him.

It's way too hard to face him now.

To know that he is the one who my baby will call dad someday.

It was all just so much to take in.

Two-bit has been my biggest supporter of all.

He has kept my secret thankfully and told me that he is The Godfather of the child.

I wanted to disagree, but he has been so helpful that I let it slide.

He even has asked me about names, but I haven't even thought about it.

Ponyboy, Two-bit, and I were all in Johnny's room talking to him when the nurse announced his mother was here.

I walked straight out of the room, and I spotted her in the small waiting area.

I yelled in her face, "How dare you show your face here! You never cared about him!"

She knew who I was and she didn't care, "He's my son!"

I wanted to hit her, but I resist, "He's never been your son. The nights I held him in my arms as he cried telling me all about his abusive mother."

I stopped for a second and began to breathe. My stomach was hurting. I was hungry.

Two-bit and Pony soon caught up to me.

Two-bit held me and said, "Okay, Bella, it's time to go back to your room."

I pushed him away, "I want to be alone."

I went to my room and got in the blankets around me and looked down at my small belly.

I was still hungry, so I asked for more hospital food as I sat in my bed and ate.

Honestly, this is really hard for me but I'm trying to hold it together and not show it.

Later that Night...

I got up to go see Johnny, and he wasn't looking too good.

His eyes were slowly opening and closing, and I could even hear his uneven breathing.

The condition was getting worse.

I grabbed his hand as I let one tear escape my eye.

His eyes barely opened, "Bella?"

I tried smiling, "Yes, Johnny, I'm here."

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I have but back up in Windrixville I realized something."

I had to get close to him and try making out some words he was saying.

He was whispering so softly.

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"That I am in love with you."

My heart was pounding, and I was actually happy for once this week.

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