“TAKE ME HOME WHEN I MISSED HER“
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𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙪𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨.
Nagising ako dahil sa pagtunog ng cellphone ko. Inabot ko iyon at pinatay ang alarm nito. Nang masilip ko ang screen nito, sunod-sunod na nag pop-up ang pangalan ng nag-message sa akin. Iisang tao lang iyon pero may limang mensahe na agad mula sa kanya.
I smiled and read her messages.
Her good morning messages increases my mobility everyday. It cheers me up and gave me reasons to move. No wonder I'm in love with her.
Cathy is my girlfriend for almost 8 years. We've been classmates since grade school and we became couple when we're in our elementary graduation day. Nagkasama rin kami sa high school kaya hindi naging mahirap sa amin ang mas mag-grow together.
But now is the second semester of not having her near me.
Lumipat si Cathy ng bahay on her own for her college adventure. Natanggap siya sa isang university which is her dream school. I tried to find a school na maari ko ring pasukan somewhere near her university too, pero walang align sa course na para sa akin. So we have no choice but to stay far away from each other and build our dreams partly.
I sighed. This is too depressing. Am I gonna be used to it? How long should I wait?
"Charm, warm-up na daw tayo." One of my teammate called. Tumango lang ako at saka tinapos na ang pag-aayos ng bag ko.
Makulimlim ngayon ang panahon. Kaya sa loob kami ng gym nag wawarm-up ng track and field. Being a junior member is exhausting but I'm enjoying it. Good thing I got a chance to be part of the sports I loved for years.
While stretching, I can't help but to look outside to check the weather. The air is creating a sound from the outside. May bagyo ba ngayon? I wonder. Ano kayang ginagawa ni Cathy ngayon? Is she having fun? Did she eat her breakfast?
' 𝘈𝘩... 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳.' I said to myself.
𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣.
Lunch time, I received a message from her with her picture inside the university cafeteria. Nag-aaral daw siya habang kumakain dahil may early exam daw sila sa afternoon classes. Well, Cathy was always devoted to academic matters. I hope she can still eat proper meal.
Early dismissal namin ngayon. Nagdiretso na muna ako sa library para magpalipas ng oras. Since, wala rin naman akong gagawin sa bahay and wala na rin si Cathy sa kanila. Kailangan ko ring masanay na magpalipas ng oras without worrying about Cathy.
Hindi ko alam kung nakailang libro ako bago ako nagdesisyon na lumabas. Mas malakas na ang hangin ngayon pero walang bakas ng pagbuhos ng ulan. I decided to walk on my way home and stroll around the city.
Hindi ko maiwasan isipin si Cathy. This time, for sure nasa klase pa rin siya or she's reviewing again for other exams. Hindi ko naman siya matawagan dahil baka makaabala ako. Anong oras nga ba ang tapos ng klase niya? May payong kaya siya? Baka biglang umulan doon. Kahit sana jacket meron siya.
Sa pag-iisip ko, hindi ko na napansin na nakasakay ako ng bus. Hindi na ako nabigla. Tinatangay na ako ng sariling kaisipan ko. Tumingin lang ako sa labas at pinagmasaan ang kalangitan. The weather is pulling out a big impact to everyone. Para bang sinasadya nitong makisama sa nararamdaman ng tao o sadyang sa nararamdaman ko ang?
𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚.
It's already 6:30 in the evening and the sky is already close to darkness. I'm busy looking up to the arc of her university. Marami na ang naglalakad palabas dito. Should I call her?
Bakit ba ako napunta dito? Damn, this feeling that I miss you is getting stronger even if I'm already here to the place you're close.
"Cathy..." I silently called her name by looking one of the window of the building.
"Charm? Charm Peter, ikaw ba iyan?" Lumingon ako sa tumawag sa pangalan ko. I found Cathy's girl bestfriend waving her hand to me. I nodded to her and smiled.
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?"
"Just passing by." I said. I saw her eyes as it flashed pity towards me.
"You missed her?"
"I miss her."
"Continues pa rin ba ang message niya sayo?" She asked. Muli, ngumiti lang ako bilang tugon.
"She's really great. Nagawa niya pa talagang magsave ng auntomatic messages para makausap ka , no? She pretended that she's going fine here for months but then again, we lost her."
'𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦.'
How can I forgot that It's just a scheduled messages from Cathy? The morning messages, the afternoon messages, random messages, till good night messages. They are all from the past before I lost her.
She suffered here and missed the chance to reach her dream. Wala akong nagawa ng panahong kinailangan niya ako. Wala ako sa tabi niya nang panahon umiiyak siya, nasasaktan siya, nalulungkot siya. I never had the chance to save her from the hell in disguised— this univerity.
She was bullied by her class, she was exploited by her professors and she was abused by her club's president.
A woman on a hospital bed that has bruises and pale skin, looking at me with a smiled.
Iyon lang ang nagawa kong makita bago siya mawala. The last time I saw her was the last time she lived. Those scheduled messages that she saved, it's the last task she committed in her last hours.
I tried to find some justice. I tried to seek for help to punish those bastards and this university for not saving her, for not taking care of her, but I ended up losing just how I lost her too.
Why so cruel? Where am I supposed to fight? What am I supposed to do for me to let you go and forgive the unforgivable? How am I gonna live with this burden of losing you?
"Cathy... C-Cathy... I-I I miss you. I m-miss you. I miss you, Cathy!"
God, I miss her. Please... please... take me home, too.
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢— 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨.
