Mate Me

Chapter 1

Four Months Earlier

"Father you can't be serious!" My brother, In-Su, exclaimed across the breakfast table as I nonchalantly turned a page in the book I was reading. "Why force her to go to the festival? Yura is married and has her second child on the way. It's not like we are in need of heirs. Plus I'm going to the festival as well. Have you forgotten that I'm your son? Shouldn't the weight of this rest on my head?"
"Not if she is an omega then we're all ruined," our youngest sister Luna chimed in.
"Shut up Luna," In-Su snapped. Luna rolled her eyes tossing her long sandy blonde hair over her shoulder mocking him.
There were four of us. Our oldest sister Yura married young, she was nineteen when she met her mate Jason and they married soon after. She was everything my parents could have asked for in their daughter. She was beautiful, strong-willed and courageous, but most of all, she was a high ranking beta married to an alpha. She was everything in a daughter that my parents could have asked for. Why they decided to have any other children after her is beyond me. Maybe they found that out the hard way. They had me just a year later, but not every Kang child is special. Maybe that's why they waited so long to have my brother.
In-Su was born five years to the day after me. He was on the taller side, and if he wasn't my brother I would say that he was handsome. He had dark unruly chestnut color brown hair like our mother's, but his steadfast and stubborn attitude he got from my father. My brother was labeled an alpha when he was ten years old. It was almost unheard of for someone to show the signs of their natural born rank before puberty, females rarely show rank before they find their mate, but In-Su was special. Another perfect child for my parents.
Another five year gap later Luna was born. My parents say it was because they were waiting for the perfect moment, I say she was an accident. Nevertheless, she was born on a pink moon and was celebrated as a love child. She was baptized in the lake under the moon and blessed by our elders. Some say that she's a beautiful angel, I say she's a pain in the ass. She is beautiful. I would say that if she had a better personality she could rival Yura, but at the ripe age of sixteen and believing she understands the world, she has become a handful.
"Y/N...Y/N!" My eomma yelled exasperated, "are you even listening?" I sighed marking my place and closing my book. My eyes met hers as I brought the coffee cup to my lips.
"Not really, no."
"You insolent girl! Do you not have any compassion for my nerves?" She started gaping around at the rest of the family and fanning herself, her chest and neck turning a bright shade of red. It created an odd contrast between her golden brown hair and bright blue eyes.
"Well considering you have no passing thoughts about mine, once again, no." It was in this moment, as the words fell out of my mouth, that I knew that I had made a mistake. Eomma's eyes grew wide, a deep guttural growl crawling from her throat. I looked away from her muttering an apology.
Appa, who was finally starting to look his age with his shoulder-length black peppered hair, placed his hand over my mother's to calm her. "Listen Y/N, you've left us no choice. You refuse to go to meet other packs, meet the sons of our allies, and have no intention of attending the festival to meet your mate. You're twenty-six years old now. It's time you go out into the world."
"And if I don't find a mate?" I looked between my parents as their expressions flickered between sorrow and guilt.
"Then you will have to learn to stand on your own two feet. We won't be around to take care of you forever. You have to be able to live, even if it is as an omega." Appa finished his sentence in a strained tone.
My appa has been closer to me than my other siblings. I hate to say that he favored me, but there really is no other way to describe it. He would have never let Luna or Yura behave the way that I have these past couple of years. He squeezed my mother's hand reassuringly.
"Not to mention that I can't even go if you don't. I think it's completely not fair that I have to stay at home for my first festival, just because my sister is a shut in," Luna whined.
"Unfair," I corrected taking a bite out of my toast and jam. The shade of red that burned under her cheeks was mildly entertaining.
"This is your sister's first festival. Even if you don't want to go, think of her! You should go to support her—"
"Wow Eomma is laying it on thick this time," In-Su leaned over whispering to me. I suppose Eomma and Luna had every right to push me. Luna is not able to attend if I don't. It's not a rule, but it is viewed as improper by the elders if a younger female sibling is out before the older, and I would hate to see Luna get rejected by her mate or his family because of something as trivial as that. Archaic as it all may seem, when you're at a level such as my family, appearance and tradition is everything.
"—We have to send reservations by tomorrow. You've had more than enough time to think this through," she finished. I sighed as Hira filled my coffee. She's a maid that has been with us since I was a child. Her grey hair was always pulled into a delicate bun, and was of a small stature with wide hips. She wasn't an omega like most servants or maids, but when her husband was murdered by hunters Appa offered her our guest house for her and her children, in exchange she would help around the house. She is like family to us.
Hira moved the sugar from the center of the table toward me with a sad smile. Her concern was evident, but there was a small part of her that wished I could find a good mate. The life of an omega isn't always nice. The noble class would glamorize being an omega to keep their staff stocked and their beds warm. I feared being an omega. I couldn't imagine being moved around like a puppet for whomever decided they wanted to pull my strings, but I feared the festival more.
It was usually a three day event. This year it will be different. It will take course over a couple of weeks to celebrate the youngest prince now old enough to find his mate. It will be in the Kosmos Forest at the chateau. I heard it's absolutely breathtaking, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to see it. What deters me is what it stands for. Behind the glittering outfits, flowers, expensive decorations, and grandeur of the illusion we are all kings and queens for a day, is the murky taint of drunken smiles, roaming hands, and alphas who have been raised under the impression that they can take whatever they like—and they will.
The farce that you have found your happily ever after once you found your mate is nothing more than an illusion. A fairytale elders and story books feed young girls as they're growing up, so that they will be eager to throw themselves helplessly into the arms of their mate and never to question them. It disgusts me. This world is just as unkind as any other.
I have been witness to mates who are expected to stand behind their alphas and take whatever he or she commands them to do. Even if it means they have to stand in the corner as they have their way with another or if they tell their mate to be with another wolf to "please an ally". Even if they bear another child of another, they have to swallow their pride and pretend their heart hasn't been shattered into a million pieces. Their very soul ripped from them. Your mate is determined by who the moon goddess believes you are the most physically compatible with, who will continue to make the best blood lines. Just because you find your mate, doesn't mean you've found love. It's fake.
Well, not always. I smiled to myself as Appa placed a loving kiss on Eomma's temple and held her hand thoughtfully. I know their intentions. It's not just about me being an omega, well maybe to Luna, but that aside, my parents want me to find what they have. Completeness of heart and soul.
What they don't understand is that I feel complete on my own. Every sense of independence that I have worked for, every like and dislike, every dream—I might have to give up if it turns out that I am not an alpha like my appa or In-Su. Or, by chance that I am lucky, maybe my mate will be a kind alpha. Kind or not, that doesn't mean he will love me or even like me beyond lust and procreation.
Am I even ready for love? I guess no one really knows until they try. Am I being a coward?
I could still hear Eomma going on about the moonlit dance rehearsal that Lee Seri and her younger sister were leading. The envy in her voice was evident, but since there was no confirmation of either myself or Luna attending, we were not invited to the rehearsals. I hadn't received an invitation to the practices for three years now, I guess they had given up on me.
I shook my head before picking my coffee cup back up, anxiety setting in the pit of my stomach. Grabbing my book excusing myself from breakfast, I could feel my fingers become cold. I had lost my appetite.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
"To the greenhouse."
"It's freezing out there! Not to mention I'm not done with you—"
"Fine." Eomma's next words fell short. The sound of my brother dropping a butter knife on a dish cut through the room.
"W-what did you say?" Her voice perked up. She excitedly darted her eyes between Appa and I.
"Fine. I will go," I turned my head slightly looking over my shoulder, "but on one condition. I will not be doing that stupid dance." With that final word and a loud shriek of jubilation from her and mysister I left the dining area to return to a place of sense, my novel.