An Ocean Apart

Family can never truly leave you.

My mind slipped into the first stages of consciousness from the chorus of a conversation outside the door. I groaned softly but didn’t open my eyes. The speakers were making an attempt to hush their words, knowing I was still asleep. I drew the conclusion that I must be home on my winter holiday. 

Flipping over and hugging the pillow my head lay upon, I could see my mother tampering about in the kitchen and my father planted firmly in his green arm chair with his feet propped up. My two brothers were the ones arguing outside the hallway over who would get to take the quad first through the fresh blanket of snow. The scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls seeped through my nose, urging me to get up and take a taste. The angel at the top of our Christmas tree would smile down at me when I passed the living room to head for the kitchen where my mother would greet me with a morning hug. 

But then I remembered I was not home. I was, in fact, very far away from home. 

I hadn’t seen any of my family in months and I would not see them for many more months to come. There was no annual Christmas tree with an exquisite angel sitting at the tip top. The smell of cinnamon rolls was a figment of my imagination and there would be no motherly hugs when I stepped into the kitchen. The boys outside, indeed, were not my brothers but two boys with English accents. Everything surrounding me was unfamiliar. 

My opened my eyes slowly, positive any spec of light would allow the pain to wash over me again. I tried not to picture the fury on Pia’s face from the previous night when I noticed the dark blue down comforter lying across my body. I succeeded for a small enough moment to realize I was sleeping in a bed completely foreign to me. I vaguely remembered drifting to sleep in Harry’s arms on the couch feeling the tears running down my cheeks. I drew the conclusion he must have carried me here not longer after I became unconscious. 

Everything after I’d ran away from Pia blurred in and out of focus. The memory of Harry pulling me into his arms and asking what had happened while he practically carried me to the couch flashed before my eyes. I can’t imagine he understood much of what came out of my mouth; all I could hear were the heaves of my own sobs. But he didn’t say a word after I’d choked out a tearful explanation. 

I had no recollection of any of the boys being home when I’d entered Harry’s flat. If any where around they had the good sense to bail out of the situation. I do, however, remember Niall and Louis laughing gleefully as the door shut behind them. I’d cried myself out by this time but both of them could sense the emotional energy in the room and stopped their jokes immediately when they noticed the scene in their living room. Harry ushered them off with an “I’ll explain later,” and they obliged without complaint. I couldn’t recall if I’d felt guilty for intruding on their evening or if I even cared. 

I knew here, in Harry’s flat, was the absolute worst place for me to be at the moment. If Pia knew I’d coming running to Harry the second she kicked me out, she’d be even more furious with me. But where else would she expect me to go? She’d never assume I’d hop on a flight home. Even if she despised me now, she’d have enough respect me for know I’d never run completely from our problem. No, it was obvious where I would have stayed the night. Without a doubt, she knew exactly where I was. 

For a place to stay over night, I could not be blamed. Hanging around for the company would most certainly be held against me. I needed to leave as soon as manners would allow. 

Sitting up in the comfortable bed, my sleepy eyes took in my surroundings. The room was the same size and shape as my own. While mine only had a neat pile of dirty clothes in the far corner, this room had articles of clothing strung about the entirety of the room, not unlike the rest of the flat. I recognized a purple sweatshirt of Harry’s lying over the back of the foot board not far from my feet. More personal items around the room confirmed my suspension that this was Harry’s room. I would have smiled secretly for his chivalry under normal circumstances, but I found no energy to now.