lend me your ears | bokuto kotaro

11 ' It's not your fault

"Mind if we take a detour? There's this place I want to go to before we end our date," he asked her bluntly. Too straight-forward, even, it made her cheeks flush with a shade of pink.

"Detour? Where?" She gave it her all to try not to stutter.

"There." Bokuto pointed upwards, referring to the Tokyo Skytree nearby. It was getting a little dark and the lights had just been turned on.

"Skytree," she mumbled.

"Well? What do you think, Nanao-chan?"

"I'm, uh, well," she tried explaining. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before saying another word, gathering the courage to tell him. "I'm, I'm, a little scared of heights."

"Oh."

"B-But, I guess we can still go," she continued, her speech getting faster with every syllable. "Nanaki loves stuff like that so whenever we go, I just watch over him from a distance," she added.

"Oh," he mouthed.

"I'm sorry, I keep blabbering about Nanaki, I'm sorry." Her tone quickly became apologetic and bashful, unsure what to say next.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize for that either," he said with a soft smile, trying to calm her down.

"Y-You know what, Kotaro-san? Let's go," she proclaimed and tucked his shirt.

"Really? Really? You're okay with that?" he exclaimed, all bubbly and energetic.

"It's time I face my fears," she confirmed, a little confident this time.

However, the moment her feet reached the deck accessible to visitors, she felt her feet and legs tremble in fear. She gripped on one of the bars on the wall, holding on for dear life.

"Ah, it's impossible! I can't do it!" she cried out, immediately getting his attention.

"Nanao?"

"Kotaro-san, I can't do this, I'm really sorry!" she apologized and rushed to the nearest seat. He followed her as well, concerned.

"Nanao, it's okay. You're okay."

"I'm absolutely not okay! I feel like I'm going to die from this," she wailed.

He sat next to her, who was now gripping on the arm of the bench.

"Nanao," he called her name and moved to face her better. "Look at me, Nanao-chan."

"W-What?" she stuttered. Nevertheless, she followed and gazed at his unbothered face.

"Don't look down anymore, it just makes it seem scary," he advised. It surprised her how mature he can become sometimes, but it's exactly what she needs at the moment.

"We can go home if you want. But if you want to stay, we can watch the pretty lights and stars from this bench," he added then smiled. It was strangely comforting.

"I want to stay here with you, Kotaro-san," she answered and averted her gaze to the view.

"Once I get over this fear, I'll paint this. Maybe," she continued.

"I bet it'll look great, Nanao-chan."

"Thank you, Kotaro-san," she spoke, her tone getting softer and sweeter than usual.

"I mean, you're good with art, ri-"

"I meant, for everything," she chuckled. Maybe her smiles weren't so rare anymore. At least for him, they weren't.

"Everything?"

"I'm grateful I met you. And that I'm friends with you."

"Heh, really?"

"Uhuh."

"You make it sound like you're leaving, Nanao-chan," he chuckled, saying it half-jokingly though.

"I don't want to leave Tokyo. It's much nicer than my hometown."

"Oh, your hometown, Nanao?"

"Everyone in my family lives there. Well, of course, except for me and Nanaki," she shared, "Oh, I'm talking about Nanaki again. I'm so-"

"No, no, it's okay, you can keep going."

"Well, I'm from Fukuoka. My parents are from there too but my grandparents raised me. I don't like my parents all that much. But Nanaki does. A lot."

"How come you don't like them?"

"They think money can buy everything. They fight over money, over work, over everything too," she revealed in monotone.

"Oh."

"Don't look so sad, Kotaro-san. It's not like you," she laughed and nudged him.

"I mean, it's not a happy story."

"And that's okay," she reassured but a sigh escaped her lips, "It's reality."

"By the way, Nanao-chan, I've been curious about your hearing aids."

"My hearing aids? What about it?" she asked, equally as curious as he was.

"Have you had those ever since? As a child?"

"Oh, that," she muttered, making the poor boy panic.

"I'm sorry if that's offensive! Was it-"

"I've had these since I was 10," she answered and gently held her hearing aid, "But it wasn't a birth defect or anything like that. I damaged my ears so it's my fault."

"What?"

"Whenever my parents fought, I would blast music to my ears just to mute them. And I did that too in school. I damaged my ears so bad I had to wear hearing aids."

"So that's why you always mute people," he muttered his realization.

"What?"

"I don't know if you need to hear this but it's not your fault, Nanao. None of it is."

Silence took over momentarily, before she thought of something else to say. "Kotaro-san, it's really not like you to look like that over a story," she managed to joke around, "Look, my hearing aids are on right now."

"Oh, they are?" Bokuto clarified.

"Of course, silly. You make me want to listen again, Kotaro. You know, like, give the world a second chance."

"Boy, that sounded corny," she giggled right after.

"It's not corny!" he defended, looking serious and sincere.

"Right, it's not," she agreed in between her soft chuckles.

"It really isn't," he repeated.

"That's what I love about you. Your honesty, I mean. I really love you, Kotaro-san," she blurted out, her giggles coming to an end.

"Love?!" he exclaimed, getting the attention of tourists from a distance.

"Y-yeah, you're like, my, my, bestfriend, Kotaro," she tried to clarify, she has only begun to realize the weight of her words.

"Oh, bestfriends. Yeah, bestfriends!" Bokuto nodded, uncertain how he should feel about it.

Later that night, it didn't take long for him to admit to himself that he did feel quite dismayed. He was just unsure why. Or perhaps, he was in denial of the probable reason.

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author's note

daisuki can mean like
or love. like and love
do not have much of a
difference in Japanese.

also, im v nervous with
this fic ;-; I hope you're
liking the story. what do
you guys think? (´∀')

also, I think many people
tend to forget how intelli-
gent Bokuto is when he's
with other people so it's
very refreshing to showcase
this side of him! （＾ｖ＾）