𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒐 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 : 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒆

00:10

Mingyu doesn't like school, at least he doesn't like classwork and the unrealistic expectations that high schoolers have pushed onto them.

He'd learned long ago that the system only cares about the highest ranking students and blatantly ignores the underachieving student body.

It was a fucked up cycle that would place some kids on such a high pedestal that they'd grow halos around their heads and preach the words of something almighty, and the rest of the student body would either bow at their feet or plot their downfall.

Giving someone a god complex at such a young age must do something to their growth, he's sure of it.

Dramatic imagery aside, Mingyu hates school.

It's one of the many reasons he knows of that makes him "act out". He quotes that because in retrospect, he's not that rebellious.

Sure, smoking and skating could be perceived as an act of rebellion, but beyond that he doesn't do much. Not turning in homework is barely a scratch to the surface, and skipping lunch isn't inherently bad. Right?

Maybe he's over thinking everything, maybe school isn't horrible and he's just pessimistic and cynical. But still, school sucks, even if he looks at it in a positive light.

Currently, he's behind his school, again.

Mingyu really likes the back of the building, it's quiet and out of sight. Nobody shows up and nobody thinks to look for him there, minus a few people.

It's turned into his own space, one were he can feel like breathing even as he suffocates himself with heavy smoke.

Getting into November means that the temperature is dropping steadily even more, the chilled breeze clears his mind for a short time and cools his finger tips until they slowly start to burn.

It's nice, even if he misses the summer sun he finds himself enjoying the fall changes. He'll go back to hating it once spring hits though.

He'll admit, very quietly and by himself, that he's stressed. With the end of the first semester approaching he's been told by several teachers that he need to work on his grades. He's short on credits from his lax Freshmen year and if he doesn't pass all of his classes this year he'll probably be held back.

It's an internal conflict of wanting to finish for himself but also being so sick of looking at numbers that won't help him in daily life. School helps only those who go straight to college, but in the end does it really help even them?

It's hard to get a job in your graduate profession at school, people want experience too, but anymore you need a college diploma for a McDonald's job it seems.

It's a double edged sword, and Mingyu is tired of it.

He's lost, a child still confused about the meaning of life and why we're here. He hated that adults paint growing up as magic, when in reality we're so unprepared for everything by the time to thrust everything into us at eighteen.

He hates not being in control of his life, and yes sure we can't control everything but saying that doesn't make it easier to accept.

Mingyu sighs, letting his head fall back to bump the brick wall.

He feels sick to his stomach thinking about this, makes him uneasy and squeamish. He takes a heavy puff off of his cigarette and breaths out through his nose.

There's a crunch of foot steps approaching him, but for once he doesn't flinch.

He doesn't need to look to know that Wonwoo is jumping up to sit on the A/C unit like before. He can already tell that the other is switching his gaze from Mingyu to the field in front of them. He waits for his familiar low voice to speak up and ask the question he doesn't know he's ready to answer.

"Are you okay?"

Mingyu sighs again, slumping again the wall more and dropping his head to glance at Wonwoo before dropping his gaze down to the burning tip of his cigarette.

He shrugs, not trusting his voice in that moment.

"Do you want to talk?" Wonwoo tries again, and Mingyu notes that he sounds odd today.

His voice isn't as monotonous as normal, it hold something that forces the ends of his sentences to raise like he's worried. It's new, but Mingyu doesn't mind it. Though it does spark a new kind of stress inside of his mind, one that revolves around nothing but Wonwoo and it's entirety.

But he tries to push that one away, after all one problem at a time.

Mingyu pauses as he thinks over Wonwoo's question.

Does he want to talk about how he both feels like a failure but at the same time doesn't care? Would that even make sense, or would it make him seem like an indecisive ass. Plus can he trust his own words not to smart off and ruin the weird not relationship he's developed with Wonwoo?

He's not sure what he can say and can't say around the older still, he doesn't want him to close off more but he can't keep walking on eggshells.

Mingyu huffs, shrugging again as he speaks.
"No, maybe? I'm just stressed out over dumb shit..."

Wonwoo frowns at him
"I don't think any problem is dumb, it's important to whoever is dealing with it. So, what's wrong?"

"I'm just..." A pause "...very confused about life and where it's going."

"That's not a dumb worry, everyone is confused about life."

Now it's Mingyus turn to frown.
"I guess...you know it sucks, I never used to care about this type of shit."

Wonwoo snorts, lightening the mood just a hair.
"Hm, it seems the school bad boy has lost his way."

"Maybe..." Mingyu sighs again.

There's a short pause in conversation between the two before Wonwoo hops down from where he was sitting to stand in front of Mingyu, almost startling the junior who immediately moved the hand holding his cigarette away so he doesn't burn him.

The sudden closing of the distance confuses him, making him frown and make a noise of surprise.
"What are you doing?"

Wonwoo tilts his head and glances around Mingyu face before he's suddenly stretching up a bit and pressing a kiss to the others lips.

It's short, barely a full five seconds before the realization of what's happening sets in.

Mingyu jerks back, head smacking again the wall with a painful thud followed by a choked noise. He ducks down, hand coming up to rub at the back of his head. He hears Wonwoo ask if he's alright.

He straightens up, turning to a guilty looking Wonwoo.
"What the fuck was that?!"

Subconsciously he regrets his tone after he sees Wonwoo's tensed flinch, but in that moment his mind is racing.
Wonwoo just kissed him, completely unprompted and random.

Adding this on top of his already confusing feelings towards the senior, he's lost. He's more confused than before and he just feels weird.

"Sorry" the other finally mumbles, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands and picking at the fabric.

Mingyu frowns, tossing his long forgotten cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it.
"Why'd you do that?"

Wonwoo shrugs
"Distraction."

A sigh, Mingyu slumps against the wall again.
"What do you even mean..."

Another shrug.
"I thought I could help, distract you from whatever your stressing over for a bit."

The realization of what Wonwoo was implying finally sets in, and Mingyus stomach churns.

Mingyu feels uncomfortable, a sense of guilt washing over him as he stares at Wonwoo. He shakes his head to get rid of the feeling and looks away.

There's an awkward silence between the two before Mingyu sighs to himself and grabs Wonwoo's wrist, tugging him away from be home the school silently.

The senior, for what it's worth, is silent as well. Stumbling behind him like a puppy.

He needs a distraction.