I am suffering Depression.

About me

I am Leii Cabanting. I am 20 years old. I am gay. But my family can't relate to what I am suffering right now. I suffer from Depression and Anxiety Mental Disorder since I was 12. I got a lot of judgement. Those judgements humiliate me. Even my family does judge me. And to be surprised, I got really humiliated, what they say got me changed a lot. Their words are more hurtful rather then to be hurt physically. It changes me vastly.

Being depressed is not a joke. Having a depression is the thing that you should take seriously. Before I am a victim of bullying for almost a long time. It was started when I was pre-school until I was in high school. I was that one kid that you can't see in the cafeteria, I was at the back of the school building, eating alone. And when I was in a classroom, I am at the corner at the back of the classroom. I was being treated a freak. I cry every night. I cry quietly that no one can hear that I am crying. And also, I am fighting with depression. My family thinks that I am normal, but the truth is, no. I am not ok. I am broke inside. We all know that the world is full of judgements. Before, it really humiliates me and make me sob and cry. But as the time goes by, judgements gets worse, and a barrier around me, builds up. Now, I was completely covered. Barrier that sorrounds me gets higher. My family thinks what they says to me is just nothing on me, but the truth is, no. It slaps me that made me think that I am a biggest mistake to them.

Until now, no one knows what I am having now. It change me a lot. This made me a version of myself that I don't know anymore. I am tired actually, I don't need to be saved. I needed to be fpund and give me an attention.