The Willow Tree

Chapter 13

The week before the dance couldn't have gone more slowly. My stomach constantly filled with nervous excitement. I had ignored my Father's requests once or twice before but I had never once planned on sneaking out of the house when he was there. But I hated the thought of missing out even more. Never living the childhood that I had always dreamed of.

When the morning of the dance finally arrived I couldn't have been more excited. I had spent a lot of the day getting ready although I tried to look as natural as possible incase my Father noticed. I didn't want to make him suspicious. My hair was tied up in a messy bun that I felt was halfway between chic and lazy. I had put on slightly more makeup than usual but I was sure that my Father wouldn't notice that. He would probably be too drunk to recognize me when he got home anyway.

I had put on my dress, spending longer than I realised gazing at my reflection in the mirror. I had honestly never felt more beautiful. When I heard my Father's car pulling up, an hour or so before I intended to leave the house, I threw on my dressing gown over my dress and got into bed. If I pretended that I was asleep then I knew he wouldn't disturb me.

It was late. Well later than I had intended it to be. But I couldn't risk getting caught, it wasn't worth it. I had to wait until my Father was hidden away in his room before I snuck out. I could hear him breathing heavily from the room next door and wondered if he had even fallen asleep. I was sure that this was my cue to leave as I crept slowly and quietly towards the door.

It was around nine. The dance had started a couple of hours ago but there was still plenty of time before it ended. I took a step towards the door, wincing at the creak of a floorboard. I froze, but the heavy breathing was still steady. I took a deep breath of relief and quickly hurried down the stairs. I quickly removed my dressing gown, smoothing out my dress and reached to turn the handle of the front door.

Just as I started to open the door a hand behind me slammed it closed again. I froze to the spot, the smell of alcohol lingering on my Father's breath.

‘Where on Earth do you think you’re going?’ He snarled.

‘I…I…’ I tried to reply a cold shiver running down my spine.

‘Did I or did I not specifically say that you were not attending that dance,’ he said his voice growing louder.

‘Well it’s j…j…just,’ I stuttered not being able to get any words out.

‘Go to your room,’ My Father shouted and I turned heading up the stairs. He turned his back on me heading towards the Kitchen. This was my last chance to escape. I ran back down the stairs, this time managing to open the front door, but I wasn’t quick enough.

My Father grabbed the back of my dress, pulling me back inside. As he did I heard a loud rip and felt part of the fabric fall to the ground.

‘How dare you disobey my orders,’ he screamed throwing me against the wall. ‘After everything I have done for you, you ungrateful little…’

‘After everything you’ve done for me?’ I shouted back. ‘You mean beating me? Abusing me? Making so terrified that I don’t want to live in my own house with my own Father?’

His silence was the only answer that I needed.

‘What do you want me to do?’ I carried on screaming back at him. ‘Do you want me to thank you for everything that you have done to make my life a living hell?’

‘How dare you speak to me like that.’ He replied.

‘All I wanted was a normal childhood,’ I said fighting back the tears in my eyes. ‘I wanted to go to school with my friends, go out on weekends with my family, live like so many others do.’

‘I have given you the childhood you deserve,’ my Father spat back.

‘What?’ I shouted. ‘Keeping me locked up inside like a prisoner. Not even allowing me to go outside! It’s ridiculous.’

‘I was just trying to protect you,’ he replied. Any other time I would have calmed down and maybe even believed that what he was saying was true. But I felt as if year’s worth of anger that I had built up inside me had just exploded and I wasn’t going to stop.

‘Protect me from what?’

‘I didn’t want you to die. I didn’t think I could live without you as well as her,’ he said tears swimming in his eyes.

‘So you thought that you would treat me like this? This is barely living! Mother may have died but at least she died living a happy life.’ I replied.

My Father didn’t reply.

‘She would hate you,’ I shouted at him as he turned to walk away. ‘She would hate the person that you’ve become.’

‘What?’ My Father snarled as he turned round to face me.

‘I heard you that night.' I told him. 'That night in the garden when you were talking to her. I heard every word you said.’

‘What did you hear?’

‘How you hate who you’ve become. That she would’ve been disappointed in you. That you wished that you were the one who had died instead of her.’

‘What the hell did you think you were playing at eavesdropping like that?’ He said walking towards me so that his face was only inches away from my own.

‘I agree.’ I shouted as he bared his teeth at me. ‘I wish that it was you who had died as well.’

The blow should’ve hurt a lot more than it did. I could feel my cheek throbbing, but I couldn’t feel the pain. It was almost as if my whole body was numb.

‘Is that the best you can do?’ I challenged him. ‘You’re nothing but a coward and I hate you.’

I felt his hand grab my shoulder as he slammed me into the wall. I heard a crack as I felt my head smash against the barrier of the stairs. I screamed my head splitting open in pain.

'You are never leaving this house ever again,' he shouted. 'You will never see or speak to anyone again especially not that precious little boyfriend of yours.' He mocked. 'Where is he now? Where's your prince in shining armour when you need to be rescued?'

'Leave Jake out of this,' I screamed, kicking and scratching at my Father in an attempt to cause him as much pain as he had caused me.

'I don't need to protect you anymore,' he spat. 'Clearly you're fine on your own.' He laughed, a cruel and menacing laugh that made my blood curl.

'I hate you,' I screamed in one last attempt but he merely laughed at me once more as he locked the front door. 'You are not leaving. Especially not to go to that dance and that is final.' 

'Or what?' I challenged, feeling as if I had nothing else to loose.

'Let's hope we don't get to that,' My Father said as he shoved me one last time against the wall before walking off.

I felt the weight of my body crumple down onto the floor in  a heap. I reached a hand to my hand trying to calm the pain. As I lifted it away drops of blood dripped down onto my dress, now ripped beyond repair. I watched as the drops of blood splattered against the white cloth. Finally letting out the tears that I had held in for so long.