my everything

you, and only you.

i love you. three words, eight letters, that held so much meaning, more than one could ever imagine. love was an emotion hard to understand, hard to comprehend. the concept of love was a complex and fickle thing, something even those who experienced it found complex. it was something i thought i could never find, let alone receive. but it was you, who came into my life, who became my everything, when i least expected it.

when i first laid my eyes on you, i could feel it. you were different. we were in a dance studio, trying to get to know everyone better during an orientation session. i was extremely introverted, but so were you. while everyone was interacting, we sat at our own spots, looking at the ground, that suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world.

however, when we were tasked to talk about what we held passion in, your eyes lit up, brighter than the night sky filled with stars. you were talking so eloquently, without rest, sharing what you were passionate about. i had to admit, i wasn't listening. i was too busy remembering the look in your eyes, committing it to memory. i didn't know when i would see it again.

after that encounter, i started taking notice of you whenever i could. your eyes, how they shone a perfect shade of brown, almost hazel. they were the cutest almond shaped eyes i ever saw. they were small, but they held so much emotion. your hair, how it fell in strands, framing your face. it was short, yet long enough to be held in a high ponytail. your smile, how it was so simple and sweet. when you smiled, i swear i felt my heart skip a beat. it was absolutely beautiful, so much so that it could light up the entire universe. the parts you hated about yourself, i loved it. i loved every single part of it, because it made you special. it made you stand out from the rest. it sent my heart beating wildly in my chest, sending it into overdrive.

i don't know how, but we started talking as time passed. we started from texting each other once every two weeks, which progressed to once a week, then once every three days, and eventually every day. i wasn't complaining at all. i loved receiving your messages, no matter what they were about. i felt good, to be able to know things that others didn't, to be someone you trusted to tell these information to. we shared how our day went, the funny things, the sad things, the angry things that occurred throughout the day, we spared no details.

and without knowing, i started falling for you.

one time, i broke down, in front of you. you weren't supposed to witness it at all, we were still getting to know each other. it was too early for you to know the demons in my ugly brain. but you still witnessed it. till this day, i still don't know if that was good or bad, but it would be etched in my memory forever. when you saw me, your face clouded with concern, not confusion. i was grateful for it. without words, you took me in your arms. your warm embrace. i felt safe, protected, and loved. it made me cry harder. your embrace, ever so comforting, heart-warming, protecting, loving. it made me feel like i was home. you didn't question anything. you cradled me in your arms, stroking my head softly, rhythmically, kissed my forehead softly, as you whispered comforting words in my ears. 'everything's gonna be okay', you said. and i believed you, because you said it, and i was with you. 

you and i, we both broke down, too often for our liking – we couldn't control it. but we knew we had each other. we sent goodnight texts to each other before we slept, making sure we were both okay, hoping that we both had a good day.

and then again, without realising, i started falling harder.

you started to invade my mind. you owned three-fifths of my heart. the one thing that i prided myself in was guarding the most fragile thing in my body, my heart. i had built a huge fence around it, paired with ten different types of locks. you managed to break through them one by one, miraculously. you brought down my defences. i was scared, nervous, by how much i was letting you in, yet i was excited too. this feeling was new, this feeling of adrenaline, and i didn't mind it one bit.

goodnight my love, i hope today was
kind to you but if it isn't then it's okay
too,, don't sleep too late, take care of
yourself and sleep well tonight.
i love you <33

goodnight bubby, i love you so much,
i hope you're sleeping well, and that you had a
good day today. if you didn't, remember that it's
over and it's a new day when you
wake up tmr ~ i love you so verily much <33

and as time passed, we became closer and closer. and you stayed. you did so many things to warm my heart – you made me melt softly in your arms, gave me soft kisses on my forehead, made my cry softly with your words. you tore down my defences, leaving me and my heart vulnerable and exposed. but for once, for the first time, i was okay with it. i was okay with letting you know the demons, the ugly parts of myself. i was okay with letting you know the true me. the me that i didn't liked sharing about, i gave myself to you. because as time was passing, i started falling harder and harder, deeper and deeper into your trusting eyes, closer and closer into your loving embrace.

and then again, you allowed me to open my heart, and without realising, you owned my entire heart.