.LIVING.YIZHAN.

ACT-I.III

Confession Time

Zhan was hitting Wamgji's shoulder, his head buried in the other's shoulder blades.

"What would I be if I stay ?" Wangji said.

"You'll be mine."

"But that's not what is meant to be. Because it's too late."

"Please don't say that."
Zhan's muffled cries resonating in the room.

Dawn was drawing near and they were sleepless. Still in each others arms not wanting to give up each other to sleep because they were scared that when morn comes they won't be together.

Zhan was walking back to his room, shoulders slouched and hands waving freely. His stomach felt terrible, his mind was full with the possibilities of what Wangji wanted to do or was to do and that constant fear that he would leave.

He was angry at himself for falling for someone too fast and too bad.

He entered his room, his eyes wandering around to catch a glimpse of his roommate. He never caught a glance of him that day.

The next day he waited to see if the other male would come but it was of no use. His hamds gripping timidly on the white sheets he sat on as the nurse came to take away all of Wangji's possession.

He was hurt and angry. He was lost. He didn't know why he had a whirlpool of feelings, the fear of losing someone or the stigma of loss. He didn't know which one was it. He really was scared.

Zhan was sitting in front of his psychiatrist trying to understand what she was speaking but it was of no use.

"Zhan you seem lost these days and that's not a good sign."

"I don't know Ziyi I'm getting worse I guess."

"Look Zhan you are currently having less suicidal thoughts which is a good sign but if your anxiety is not playing well your chances in getting out of this mess will be bad. I really try talking with you and actually I shouldn't be telling these things but I really do think you have a hope in getting better. You are capable of getting out of this mess. It's just that you need to try to see things better. Okay Zhan. Tell me you will try okay."

"I don't know. I really don't know. I don't want to end it but I don't want to endure it too. I'm fed up of taking pills that make my head think I'm okay when I'm not. I'm fed up of thinking it'll get better when it's just worst."

"That's what life is."

Ziyi looked at her watch.

"It's time Zhan. Your session is over. Try to think about less things for these few days okay."

"I'll try."

"Oh I forgot ! Zhan how is Wangji he's leaving for Korea today you know."

"What !" Zhan turned around slamming his hands on the table.

"I guess he didn't inform you then."

"About what ?"

Ziyi sighed.

"That kid changed his room because of this I see."